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Showing posts from 2014

You always said I lived in a fairy tale world. that's because you treated me like a Queen

You taught me how to be nice and look for the good in people. You showed me that not all people are mean. You told me that you would always protect me and make me feel wanted. You and I were together for 12 years.  

It's a boy

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Bryant and his girlfriend had a baby doctor appointment the other day.  They found out that the minion she is carrying is a boy. Bryant is so happy, it looks like he is about to cry when he starts talking about it. I am excited for him.  Still alittle apprehensive over the entire thing.  Boy Minion is at his fathers house and I really miss him.  He has this incredible smile, it tugs at my heart. Girl Minion is just as firey as ever.  I am pretty sure that she is going to give both Bryant and T gray hairs.

InfoPath 2010 and SharePoint 2013

​InfoPath does not recognize Cross Site Look Up columns in SharePoint. You can create a Date Connection to pull in the column into the InfoPath Form. Open the Infopath Form and create a field, use Locations for example. Create a field, name it locations, give it a text box field. Click on the Manage data Connections link on the bottom of the "Fields" tool box. Click Add Create a New Connection, Receive Data Click Next, the choose SharePoint library or list Enter in the URL, click next Choose field you want the data connection to pull Choose the sorting option if more than one field is choosen, then asending/desending - click next. Click Finish Highlight the Location Field, right click, change control to drop down. Highlight Location Field, right click, choose drop down list box properties Under List box choices click on the drop down for Data Source and choose the data source that you just created. Click apply, then okay. Publish The link provided shows

Work in progress - I will add to it.

A letter to my son, who is going to be a father.

Energy wasted is a waste

So basically I didn't sleep all night.  When someone is ignored it can hurt just as much as throwing hurtful words at them.  Took a break from facebook for awhile. People can be hateful, mean without meaning to be mean.  I started feeling like whenever I opened the application I felt like I was falling down a rabbit hole. I've done it before, fell into the rabbit hole and it was not a pretty sight.  Took a long time to recover and my head was all fuzzy for awhile.  I figure close down the pipeline, no fuzzies.  I have a feeling that I am ready to erupt anyways, with the way that things are going.  Work has been crazy, and I am thinking that I should have taken off the week.  I am up to my eyeballs in projects and they just keep piling on and I can't start any of them until they are assigned to me.  Of course they are all going to be assigned to me, but I found a few things that can be done without SharePoint and use a application that they are already using and abl

Monday Gripes

Griping for a Monday Today really hasn’t been that bad. People driving is always an issue so I just incorporate it into my “everyone but be is insane” category. I can’t find my computer glasses. I got to work, put my stuff away and sat down ready for some computer porn at work… . I have no idea where I left them. I can barely see the screen with my regular glasses, yes I am getting old. I have been looking everywhere to no avail. So I am increasing the fonts on my screen for today so I do not wind up fired or with a blinding headache. But when I went to go get my bagel with bacon, extra bacon, I went down the stairs like I always do. I was thinking of walking back up them when I went back to my office but as I was thinking there seemed to be more stairs than there were last week. Each time I thought of walking back up the stairs, another flights of stairs was added to the jaunt. I smartly, I thought, decided to take the stairs back to my office.

I saw it with my own eyes

I watched the words as I typed away today.  I will dissect each word looking for something to turn me off.  I succeeded without him even knowing.  There is no reason for me to get close and open myself up to him.  After today I wont even be able to change my own mind.  Stubborn as hell, I know but I finally acknowledged it to myself.  I'm not ready to express feelings to someone because in the end they will leave.  I will be hurt and the one picking up the pieces.   I can't or rather won't allow myself to feel that way again.  I'm not going to waste time on it.  Now, on to the next project.   No need to waste anymore time.

Darkness wins

Sometimes I lay in bed and think of all of the "what if's" It's a dangerous game, I know. It makes me sad yet I keep on doing it.  I want to be happy so much. People do not realize how hard it is to be happy. Yeah you can make yourself me happy and you are your own destiny and you are in charge of making yourself happy. Some would say that I am dwelling and I need to get over it. But people who know me know this is not the case. When I am around other people I am happy, smiling and play well with others. It's when I go home. I lay down The walls shrink and close it I feel the darkness impede on me like a drug washing over me and taking control I can't close the door fast enough for the darkness not to enter I feel it and become emmersed in the bath There is no running away No jumping in my car and taking off No calling someone to get out of the hole It just takes over and I allow it Sometimes I welcome it Then 4 hours have gone by and

Run On Sentences

Being an adult is so complicated.  Each day something new is coming and the decisions to be made that have an effect on the entire household is daunting.  Making all of these decisions is tiresome.  Yesterday and today I went on Craigslist and just picked a state and city to see what was there.  Kind of like throwing a dart at a map of the United States and moving there.  I just want to make a new life.  I should feel grateful for all that I have. So why do I want to run away from it all? I miss sharing my life with someone.  I miss having someone to come home to and to talk to.  I miss spending time with someone I care about and just lay with them.  Granted I miss the sex too, I would be lying if I said I didn't, but I miss knowing I always have someone on my side no matter how bad I screw up. So then I get this idea in my head, "If I move somewhere else, where no one knows me, I can reinvent myself and find the perfect match to my 1 sock" Problem is, I already
Why is life so difficult? I spent last night just laying in bed, unable to sleep, while a million things were going on in my head.  Life was so much easier when I was married, when I had someone to take care of me and make sure I stayed on the straight and narrow.  Now that he is gone, getting out of bed is hard to do. Relationships are wickedly hard to maintain. I cry all of the time. I can't stop. I can't even write anymore.  I used to be able to write long stories and posts.  Now, I just write to see letters fall on the screen. I can't really read books any more. It is too hard to sit and focus on one thing.  I have no idea what is wrong with me.

Love & Hate Relationships

This post is for my cat, Calvin, as well as for my dog, Delilah.  Each of them have their issues, most of which they let me know about at 2 am.  Perfect timing for me to rub the cats belly or to itch a scratch on the dog.  Last night I was scratching the dogs head and I noticed some bumps.  Calvin must have really let her have it in the past few days.  That dog could take out Calvin in one bite, but she just wants to love on Calvin, chew him up and floss her teeth with cat tail.

So I have accepted a Challenge

The Challenge starts on the 18th of this month.  Is a sort of Ultra competitor thing for work.  I joined the walking challenge.  I need something to get me back in the gym. Then I think, "oh this new disease is floating around.  I should just stay home and stay away from people so I don't get sick and die" That's when my dog throws my running shoes in my face.  Even she knows that I need to get off my ass.  Still waiting for the daughter to send the batbaby signal.  I am hoping it is soon, for her sake as well.  The days have been getting hotter and I do not know how she is doing it.  Power to her.  Work is well, work.  I feel funny there, since, "The Incident".  I know only a few people know and though those people have supported me, I can sense some tension with one individual.  I could really care less.  If there was not other writeups and issues in regards to my complaint he would still be there.  Today we had a company meeting and running into

A side of bacon

I was told today that I was missed.   Someone missed my writing.   It’s nice to hear once in a while.   I am sure that they are just sitting at their computer screen, nearing the end of the internet and remembered that chick Jessica who had some funny things to say as well as run on sentences.   I miss writing. I miss cooking. I have missed so much and I am still waiting for the day where I wake up and everything is right in the world.   Well, mainly my world.   I know life is what you make of it and I haven’t been doing a good job at all.   Things and friends have fallen to the curb.   It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I had cared too much and I don’t want to get hurt anymore when people leave or die.   Childish thinking I know, but it is mine right now.     Everything is passing me by right now.   I’m ok with it.   Baby steps. Some days I want to move far away where no one knows me.   I have done that in the past, and everyone wound up knowing me.   I tell m