Monday, July 21, 2014

You always said I lived in a fairy tale world. that's because you treated me like a Queen

You taught me how to be nice and look for the good in people.
You showed me that not all people are mean.
You told me that you would always protect me and make me feel wanted.

You and I were together for 12 years.  In that time we fought, oh we fought bad.  Not knock down, drag out fights, but our words would sting and one of us was going to be sleeping on the couch, while the other one, usually you, would continue to come down the stairs to try to get the argument going again.  To throw another twig in the fire.  I was always the one to cry all night and stay in the basement and just want it all to be over.  we would usually be fine by the next day and all was good in the world again and you would show me love that I never thought could be found and I would make sure that you were taken care of.

I remember the first time I cooked for you.  Chicken and broccoli fettuccine.  Some thing with cauliflower, and maybe a dessert.  Every time I went to your house you had top ramen, my favorite green apples and buttery microwave popcorn.  See you had yourself on this budget and you were trying to get all of your bills paid off.  We ate a lot of Top Ramen.  I didn't mind because the company was the best.

You and I would test each other to no end and I know that no matter what you love me.  No matter what you did, you loved me.  A lot.  I loved you too.  You always saved me.  A lot of times, you saved me from myself.  I don't care what anyone knows or what anyone says.  You cared about me more than any one else ever will.

It's been hard.   The first two years you were gone I was either drugged up or drunk.  This year I will be sober.  Not sure how that is going to make me feel.  I figure once I get through this, everything else will be fine.  I have been through a lot.  But I am going through so much more trying to find myself in all of this mess.  I am a different person now.  I can do whatever I want and I have all of this freedom, but all I want is to have that safe feeling that I had when you were alive.  I question things all of the time.  I know that I am not the same, nor will ever be that person who was married to you.

It sucks.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

It's a boy

Bryant and his girlfriend had a baby doctor appointment the other day.  They found out that the minion she is carrying is a boy. Bryant is so happy, it looks like he is about to cry when he starts talking about it. I am excited for him.  Still alittle apprehensive over the entire thing.  Boy Minion is at his fathers house and I really miss him.  He has this incredible smile, it tugs at my heart. Girl Minion is just as firey as ever.  I am pretty sure that she is going to give both Bryant and T gray hairs.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

InfoPath 2010 and SharePoint 2013

​InfoPath does not recognize Cross Site Look Up columns in SharePoint. You can create a Date Connection to pull in the column into the InfoPath Form.
Open the Infopath Form and create a field, use Locations for example. Create a field, name it locations, give it a text box field. Click on the Manage data Connections link on the bottom of the "Fields" tool box.
  1. Click Add
  2. Create a New Connection, Receive Data
  3. Click Next, the choose SharePoint library or list
  4. Enter in the URL, click next
  5. Choose field you want the data connection to pull
  6. Choose the sorting option if more than one field is choosen, then asending/desending - click next.
  7. Click Finish
  8. Highlight the Location Field, right click, change control to drop down.
  9. Highlight Location Field, right click, choose drop down list box properties
  10. Under List box choices click on the drop down for Data Source and choose the data source that you just created.
  11. Click apply, then okay.
  12. Publish
The link provided shows the instructions for SP 2010.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Work in progress - I will add to it.

A letter to my son, who is going to be a father.


You may not know it, but you are already a father.  The way you teach bug and boo, you are a father figure.  You show them right from wrong, make sure that they listen and respect themselves as well as others around them. You are a father.


Soon you will have a baby, a baby that is relying on you to survive.

A baby that will grow into a child and look to you for its food, warmth, love and kindness.

It cannot survive without you or your love.


I just want to give you a few pointers and some advice.   I want you to remember it for always.  You may forget things at the store, or to fill up your gas tank. You may forget to turn off the lights or to pay a bill.  But you will never forget how much love you will feel when you have your baby.

1. You will have sleepless nights.  You will feel like sleeping standing up.  You will never sleep so hard you roll over your baby.  It's like a 6th sense. 
2. always keep night time healthy snacks.  When you get up to feed the baby in the middle of the night, it seems like we are allowing ourselves to eat as well.  Bad habit, unless you have a healthy snack.

2. Remember what I said about the baby wipes down the diaper.  This will contain any loose stools that you do not want all over the babys back. 

Energy wasted is a waste

So basically I didn't sleep all night.  When someone is ignored it can hurt just as much as throwing hurtful words at them. 

Took a break from facebook for awhile. People can be hateful, mean without meaning to be mean.  I started feeling like whenever I opened the application I felt like I was falling down a rabbit hole.

I've done it before, fell into the rabbit hole and it was not a pretty sight.  Took a long time to recover and my head was all fuzzy for awhile.  I figure close down the pipeline, no fuzzies. 

I have a feeling that I am ready to erupt anyways, with the way that things are going. 

Work has been crazy, and I am thinking that I should have taken off the week.  I am up to my eyeballs in projects and they just keep piling on and I can't start any of them until they are assigned to me.  Of course they are all going to be assigned to me, but I found a few things that can be done without SharePoint and use a application that they are already using and able to keep everything in one place. 

Monday Gripes

Griping for a Monday
Today really hasn’t been that bad. People driving is always an issue so I just incorporate it into my “everyone but be is insane” category.

I can’t find my computer glasses. I got to work, put my stuff away and sat down ready for some computer porn at work… . I have no idea where I left them. I can barely see the screen with my regular glasses, yes I am getting old. I have been looking everywhere to no avail. So I am increasing the fonts on my screen for today so I do not wind up fired or with a blinding headache.

But when I went to go get my bagel with bacon, extra bacon, I went down the stairs like I always do. I was thinking of walking back up them when I went back to my office but as I was thinking there seemed to be more stairs than there were last week. Each time I thought of walking back up the stairs, another flights of stairs was added to the jaunt. I smartly, I thought, decided to take the stairs back to my office.

I got my sammich and returned to the office building. I held the elevator for a slightly larger woman and thought I was doing a good deed and would be rewarded in some way. When she got into the elevator I asked her what floor. She said, “two”. I am shit my pants. You are only going to the 2nd floor and you can’t carry yourself up the stairs??? I hate stopping when inside an elevator. If I was going to the second floor I would have taken the stairs. WTF???? So I finally get to my floor and I thought to myself that I should have taken the stairs. I was being punished for something today. Can’t find my glasses, the stairs, the chick in the elevator.

Drove to Wegman’s for lunch. I had no idea where it was at, but was asked to drive so I did.

It’s really quiet in the office and I don’t know why? I am here aren’t I?? haha.

Monday, June 16, 2014

I saw it with my own eyes

I watched the words as I typed away today.  I will dissect each word looking for something to turn me off.  I succeeded without him even knowing.  There is no reason for me to get close and open myself up to him.  After today I wont even be able to change my own mind.  Stubborn as hell, I know but I finally acknowledged it to myself. 
I'm not ready to express feelings to someone because in the end they will leave.  I will be hurt and the one picking up the pieces.   I can't or rather won't allow myself to feel that way again.  I'm not going to waste time on it. 
Now, on to the next project.   No need to waste anymore time.