3/25/2011

Motherhood is happyness??

I read this post over at AlphaMom. Chris then challenged all that read to go and blog about what is making them happy right now about motherhood.

This is hard.

If she knew what was going on in this household, she would say maybe tomorrow. But as I read her story and I agreed on many points one being, "I am not my child's friend. I am their parent"
I feel the same way.
You can laugh and have a great time with your kids, but there comes a line that they know that separates the parent from their friends and they respect this line.

Anyways, so on to my happiness feeling.

My son moved out last week because he did not feel that he had to follow my rules.  Since he was 18 and a senior in high school he felt that he did not have to listen and suffer the consequences for breaking the rules, like keeping the grades up, and being home by curfew.

I was very sad and I thought my world was coming to an end.  I cried for days, wanting my child back.  Finally I woke up and realized that my child has grown up into a man.  I also realized that his moving out could be a good thing.  He can pay his bills, fend for himself and learn more responsibility than I could ever teach him.

I smiled, not because he might come running home defeated and broken, unable to make it on his own.
I smiled because I realized that I have done a damn good job raising my son.
He feels so strongly that he can make it out there, and he knows that it will not be easy. 
I know that I raised a man who will do what he needs to do to get to work, and get to school, if anything to prove his mom and dad wrong.
I am starting to feel happiness for what I have done for the past 18 years.  My son might not realize how hard I have worked to ensure he had what he needed. 
I am happy that I can let him go and try this feat of independence.  I am also happy to know that no matter what I will catch him if he falls, or I will celebrate his victories that he has in store for himself.

I taught someone, my son, to not fear the uncertain, but to face it with all of his might.

I reminisce of the past, of all the boo boos I kissed, all of the shoes I have picked up.  I remember every Friday after I picked him up from after school care, we went for REAL rolled taco's and shared them.  I rejoice in knowing that when he came home from school, he didn't mind sitting down to talk to his mom and have really deep and sometimes disturbing stories about what he is faced with at school.

I love the fact that he trusts me, and that he challenges me every day with something.  He can make me laugh one minute and yell at him the next.  I am happy that I taught him not to hold a grudge against people, and how to open the door for his girlfriend.
I am happy to start a new road with my son, who has turned into a man.  Hopefully one of us has a emergency kit!
Baby steps.
And yes I am smiling.

this is a twitter test

Calvin the Cat



This is Calvin. He is my cat. He thinks he is a dog. My Daisy Dog, taught Calvin how to growl. When someone knocks at the door, Calvin will run to the door. He is no frady cat.

He sleeps on my pillow every night. He is very affectionate and will only eat one type of cat food. Friskies, Seafood Sensations. He says it is better than Red Lobster...

I love him more than a mouse loves cheese. Why is it animals will love you forever and never leave?

Test

Sent from my iPhone

3/18/2011

Sloppy joe turnovers

Super easy and yummmie!

1 pound ground beef or turkey
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup sour cream
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp garlic powder
the flaky refrigerator biscuits
butter, melted 2 tbs

cook the ground beef/turkey, with onion. Brown and drain, return to pan. Stir in ketchup, sour cream salt and garlic power.

preheat over to 375
roll out the biscuits into a 4 inch square. arrange the biscuit on a baking sheet (ungreased). Spoon 1/4 cup of mixture in the center of each square. Fold over the corner of each square to form a triangle. Seal the edges with a fork and cut three 1/2 inch slits on the top of each turnover
Bake until golden brown 15-20 minutes and bruch with melted butter.

New recipe

I'm trying to tone down the servings that I make in this house. It seems that everyone is on a diet. I try, seriously I try. There is one problem, I love to cook and bake and of course I love to eat. I have been trying a few new foods in the house.

Have you noticed the price of tomato's? And they are horrible. The worst tomato's so far have been from Bloom. Very sad.

Okay where was I?

I have this box filled with old recipes. Don't you love finding those types of things at yard sales, or garage sales? I love it. Of course this box came from a yard sale, not past down from generation and if you knew where I grew up you would totally understand.

Oh lordy, I forgot to tell you, most overpowering marinade out there, Lawry's lemon pepper marinade. OMG the chicken was delicious but the smell was in my house till the next day, and after a while the smell annoyed my more than a paint smell. No more of that.

I have to tell you a story before I forget. I went to the store, and bought a pork loin. Usually I crock pot it, but this time I wanted to cook it in the oven and since it was cold out, the oven would warm up the house at the same time. So anyways, I marinate it and put it in the fridge with instructions for my son to take it out of the fridge, let it sit for an hour then throw it in the oven at such and such degrees. I called to remind him then I called again to remind him to change the temp and let it cook for another hour. It called for like a 3 hour cooking time.

I was rushing home since the spouse had a meeting and we met outside the house. He was laughing his ass off. Telling me he was thankful that he had to go to the moose and have dinner. I didn't understand what he was talking about until I saw the poor thing. The.. my pork loin looked like a burnt arm... BURNT was not the word. So I ask Bryant did it smell burnt, did you smell something like that you remind you that the house was burning down? Did Daisy alert you that there was something wrong in the house?? There was no smoke and I didn't smell anything when I came in the house so I am sure he did not smell anything either and as for the dogs senses... well, they don't go far.

I cut into the loin, hope a major artery did not explode. It was cooked that’s for sure, many of you know I won’t eat pork unless it is cooked all the way. Okay, so the loin wasn't as tender but it was chewable if you liked beef jerky. Daisy was waiting for handouts, and eager to please me with her idea of scarfing the entire thing...

Have you ever noticed that a dog will scarf a piece of meat, yet crunch a potato chip till it dissolves in their mouth?

Well, needless to say we had salad with grilled cheese...

Oh speaking of grilled cheese

rye bread
Velveeta
butter

you know what to do with it. Let me know if it tastes good, or even better put some bacon in there and enjoy for me.

Cricut Inventory

1. Just Because Cards
2. Destinations
3. Pooh font
4. Mickey and Friends
5. Speaking of Fall
6. Walk in my Garden
7. Songbird
8. Forever Young
9. Thanksgiving
10. Sweet Treats
11. 50 States
12. Winter Wonderland
13. Calligraphy Collection
14. Plantin Schoolbook
15. April Showers
16.Give a Hoot
17. From my Kitchen
18. Tie the Knot
19. Stamping
20. George and Basic Shapes
21. Speaking of Winter
22. Animal Kingdom
23. Sentimentals
24. Home Accents
25. Inde Art

Blunt and honest

I haven’t been me for the past few days. I have been shocked, rocked and everything in between. I have always loved being a mother and also have believed in a deeper being. Now is when I need that perspective to keep going, and alive.

My son has his own agenda. He is 18 and a senior and seems to think that he knows all of the answers, his life has been horrible and nothing can make him come back to the house.
My son moved out, and left nothing but chaos in his path

I was hurt beyond words and haven’t slept much lately. I lay there thinking of what he says, wondering if he is right. I lay there thinking about my childhood and how horrible it was, how scary it was, how I was running away when I was ten years old because I was so scared. I learned from my experiences and wanted to ensure when I had children, I was not the same mother.

I turned out to be a pretty good mother. Yes, I had made mistakes along the way, but as we both grew I learned so much about myself. I was stronger than I thought I was
He had everything he needed, and never went to bed hungry or with lashes on his back. He never went to bed wondering if his mother was going to beat the crap out of him tomorrow for leaving a dish in the sink or for some other trivia reason.

I used my strength to raise him as best I could. Obviously it wasn’t enough but
Right now, I need that strength.

I need strength to not take to heart what my son yells at me, how we destroyed his life and made it hell for the past ten years. Those of you who know me, know I take things personally and I wear my feelings on my sleeve when it comes to my family.

I need the strength to tell my husband that it is not his fault, I need to find the strength to stand by his side and support him.

I need the strength to not beg my son to come home and I will make it all better.

It’s not a boo boo, where I can kiss it and his tears stop flowing and a smile appears.
It’s not a heartbreak where I can listen to him, offer my advice and bake him a cake.

It is so much worse.

Everyone tells me that all teenagers go through this. I thought my teenager was different. We all think our children are different.

I just wonder when he will realize that life is not easy, and that he must ask forgiveness for his mistakes, as we all do.
I hope by then it won’t be too late to mend broken fences that have been whirled into the wind and broken into a million pieces.
I hope by then that my husband will let him back in.
Even more, though moms are supposed to say I love you forever and like you for always, is that so easy to do?

If this is the person that he is becoming, what have I done wrong?
And again I lay in bed wondering where exactly I screwed up. Many of you say nowhere, all kids go through this…
Just last week my son was saying how great everything was and how happy he was.

Today he has told me he has been unhappy for ten years. I think more of it is he has had to follow directions, rules and face responsibilities for the past ten years. He says that he got blamed for everything. He did. But he deserved to be blamed and many times we should have been stronger on him.

Maybe that’s what I didn’t do. I wasn’t strong enough for him. I wish I could start over.

It will all be better in the morning.

I’m in a good place just reflecting…
I think