All I could think about last night was...

How when the camera was on Mickey Rourke for his role in the wrestler, when they were announcing the best actor of the year away you could see Edward and those eyes... omg those eyes.


I am so glad I have my blog

AS I am crusading my way to 40, I try not to think of getting older. I have way too many tell tale signs, more gray to cover when dyeing the hair, more aches and pains and some other signs that I could not place until this week.

WELCOME MENOPAUSE into my life. I have all of the tell tale signs and it is here. I was out last night and when I went to the bathroom I had a hot flash so bad that I was nauseated for over an hour and just went home. That is unusual for me, going home that is. I can only imagine what this new predicament is going to bring to my crusade, but I hope that it is not going to stop me much, but now I know why I have been so so sooooo moody to other people like they are morons LOL. I apologize!

Hormones? Ice pack?? St Johns Wort??? Help???


I was reading another blog

I was really I swear!

But I have to mention one thing first... Yes this is my coming of age blog, but I do not do wild and crazy things on an every day basis so I have to fill the emptiness of the blog with other interesting things that I know my readers will read.

Hence -

I was reading a blogging friend that has something in her attic with claws made me think of this...

We were living in San Diego at the time, near Mission Trails Preserve. Hence the word preserve so we all know that preserve means, mice, bats, snakes and all sorts of other things that are allowed to grow and mulitply on this preserve. We lived in a bottom floor apartment, and it was really nice, 2 bedroom 2 bath, great neighbors, tennis court, pool and hot tub. With all of these great things to do we found ourselves at home one Friday night, watching television when all of a sudden something moved out of the corner of my eye. Holy crap batman I was up on the couch in record time, while trying to tell Brian what I saw. Of course with my hyperventalating, tears, near screams and acrobatic antics he thought I wanted to have sex. Just kidding. He calmed me down and went patroling in the kitchen while I stayed in the living room waiting for the "thing" to jump out right in front of my face. He looked and looked, saw a hole behind the stove, determined that the "thing" crawled back into the hole and out into the night. He had me convinced so we then went to bed. Next day was Saturday and we were outside washing the cars, when Bryant comes running out of the house in a long tshirt screaming that there was a mouse in the house. He also stated that the mouse ran under the couch. Once we got back into the house, Brian hands me a tennis racket, yes a tennis racket and proceeds to tell... no wait convince me that when he lifts up the couch and the mouse runs out I am going to deck the mouse over the head with a tennis racket. He seems to forget that I am a girl and afraid of things smaller and faster than me. I agreed with him at the moment and stood poised at the other end of the couch ready to smear the rodents head into my carpet. That is when I realized that I was going to kill a mouse.. oh hell no, as soon as the couch moved I ran into the bedroom and the mouse once again got away. But when we looked under the couch we saw that there was 3 trail mix bars (the soft ones) under the couch and have been eating, which means that the mouse has been feasting on granola bars from our cupboard and dragged them over to underneath the couch so no one would see and the son would get blamed for eating too much. We cleaned up all of that and then went to sleep only to wake up to a rustling in the kicthen. We go to the noise, and I make Brian prove to be the husband that I married and be stronger and go first into the dark kitchen. He opened up the cupboard and all of a sudden (think squrriel in Christmas Vacation) a flying mouse came straight for his face. I was laughing so hard that I was useless so the mouse once again escaped from our grasp.

The next day we called the management and had them deal with the little booger. Come to find out when it was caught, it was not a field mouse but a feed mouse, someone had bought him probably and then it either got away or someone let him go. I hoped that he didn't have any friends hanging around, but that is another story.


Life is a box of chocolates?

Brian gave me a box of chocolates, told me that he wanted to do something different this year. Last year he gave me flowers for Valentines Day, again he wanted to be spontaneous. I found out 4 weeks later that he cheated on me. Spontaneous with my husband doesn't sit well with me.

We meet in person on December 5th. We told each other that we were not going to get Christmas gifts for each other because we just met and all. So, I went and got him a big dog golfing sweatshirt and he got me rollerblades.. interesting. His birthday was in January and I wanted to get him something nice. I went to the antique store in the area, and found a liqour decantor with a golf image etched into the glass with 4 glasses that had the same matching emblem. Cuz I am nice like that. Neither one of us got each other anything that first Valentine's since our love was so alive and wonderful and the sex was great, that we did not have to affirm our feelings with cupid and waiting at a resturant for 4 hours for a table, so I made him dinner, Chicken and broccoli alfredo... silly thoughts I supposed but I truely belived that I met the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

He took me camping for the first time, at an RV park. It was interesting and throughout the years we had grown to love the place. Once we went camping in the cuyamaca's with Bryant's boy scout troop.. I could not see my hand in front of my face when I went to sleep, the only reason why I went to sleep was so I would not feeling the knife in my back when Jason came to kill me. I did not go to the bathroom till the sun rose.

We went rollerblading, another first for me, he wore a fanny pack. We didn't go again till he got rid of the fanny pack.

He took me to Vegas, and it was the best time of my life. My first martini, my first win on the roulette table, my first experience of him driving over 90 miles an hour.

On one of our first dates he took me to the top of the Hyatt hotel in Seaport Village and it overlooked Downtown San Diego and the boats in the harbor. The view was magnificent, but I could not wait to get back in the car so he could kiss me. Yes, my eyebrow had grown back by then.

Starbucks was our place to hang out and talk, so much so that every time I walk into a starbucks I can smell his cologne. Trust me, they definately need to close more starbucks so I can stop thinking about him.

He turned me on to Microwave popcorn, since I was poor and did not have a microwave, popcorn was not in my house. Whenever I was over at the house we would have popcorn. He told me years later that he never ate the stuff, it just sat in his cupboard for when his daughter would come to visit.

I had my first Hooter's wing with him. I will never forget that night, and yes that is a whole new post that I might never share here.

Thats all for now...


I could write a post...

Or watch Jeopardy, only answered half of the questions so I guess I will blog. I am procrastinating again, but have no idea what it is I am procrastinating.

When I started dating Brian, yes we met online, and that is another cute story for another day. My blog, my rules.

ok so

I was trying to save as much money as I could so I would have enough money to go out with him every weekend. So I would take my lunch to work and not buy starbucks. Well, we all have heard about the Famous Eyebrow Incident and you would have thought that I would have learned. One day, a Thursday to be exact, I was plucking my eyebrows in pain so basically I would pluck out many hairs at once.. When I looked in the mirror, half of my eyebrow was gone. Okay, this could be fixed, so I took an eyebrow pencil and penciled it in and it looked pretty damn good. Leave house to go on date. Went to his house, played around, went to bathroom, looked in mirror, saw eyebrow gone, freaked out since I did not bring my pencil with me. Think fast... jump in the bed and lay the side of the face that was missing half an eyebrow, but that would not work because then I would not be facing him and giving him googly love eyes.. so I faced him, wondering when he would notice, I saw a twinge in his face signaling that he saw. I looked at him and just said...
I made a wrong left turn!


My former single life

Was to say the least very interesting. My son and I moved in with my mother and while I worked and went to school she would keep an eye on Bryant. So needless to say, I didn't date much since I mean come on you can't really bring home a guy and expect to have casual sex while mother and son looked on. I just concentrated on school and work. When I turned 30 I bought a computer and discovered the world of AOL, and of course chat rooms. I loved those, I could stay up all night and talk to people all over the world who had the same interests as I did. I then thought it would be neat to put a personal ad up and see what would happen.
This is what happened...
I met many men online, I figured that it was the same as being on a blind date or meeting someone at a bar. My mother would freak out so I would call her at all different times during the date. I went on many, but there are a few that stuck in my head for various reasons, once you read this you will understand. One man I talked to for weeks online, and on the phone. His voice was pleasant and we had much in common so we decided to go to dinner and a movie. He was to pick me up at such and such time, and he would drive. Everything was all planned and my mom was keeping an eye on my son, so minutes before we were supposed to meet I ran downstairs to take out the garbage (we lived in an apartment) and I walked past some random guy just standing there, and when I walked past him I smelled something horrid. OMG it was coming from the man. I hurriedly took the trash out and went up the stairs a different way. About 5 minutes later my date called and informed me that he was downstairs. I grabbed my purse and went down to meet him.... it was him... stinky... omg what do I do?? I bet you 5 bucks I could have walked right past him pretending I was someone else. I wasn't thinking that fast and I smiled and said Hi I am Jessica. On the way we were, we went to old town for dinner, the dinner was nice, but throughout the dinner I could catch a whiff of his smell oh my gawd I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. He then paid for the dinner, which I quickly said "well, since you paid for dinner I will pay for the movie. We went to see sixth sense, and I am here to say that I was so involved in the movie that I knew Bruce was dead way before the story closed in. He took me home, no kiss involved and that was it.
Another man I met had a few teeth missing... that was a coffee date, I was learning to keep the dates short and closer to home to make for a quick getaway!
Another man I met was nice, but the most sloppiest kisser in the world, oh it was gross. That one did not last long either.
Another man I met online was really funny but then he would say the wierdest things at the strangest times I dont exactly remember what he said but I always aquainted him with a serial killer. Nuff said.
One man I met at a bar down by the beach was a really great guy, had his own place nearby and was really into sports. One thing.. his feet stuck to high heaven, but of course I didnt know this til I spent the night once... I couldnt make it through the night, I left around 3 am and walked the few blocks home. OMG then he kept on calling the house and leaving messages. My mother and I had seperate phone lines, but she could hear the messages that were being left by this guy and he would have her laughing in her chair. We started calling him cling free.

Stay tuned for more...

Weekend Adventure report

I am sure you all are dying to hear how my friday night dinner went with the blogging girls. It was amazing, and once things were comfy and cozy I was so proud of myself for going and I was happy to be around others.
I got to the restaurant on time, only getting lost once and immediately recognized one of the gals from her picture on her blog. I went up to her and said hey there, then I stood there contemplating my escape and wondering if I made the wrong decision. I was feeling a bit ackward, standing there waiting for the light to signal our table to be ready. I looked down at my palms making sure that they weren't all sweaty. I looked around the waiting room, and wondered if I should go hide in the bathroom until the place closed LOL. I remembered thinking the same thing when I was out on blind dates when I was single, ,there was always that period of time of flight or fight. I never flew the coop but there were times that after I met the guy I wanted to disappear into the night, never to return again. I just kept repeating to myself, I will be fine, no one has ever died of embarrassment LOL
I really wanted a drink to relax but I just kept telling myself I was being foolish and to grow a pair and suck up! We got our table and the rest of the girls showed up and it was great after that. It was a night full of conversation and really good food! I had the crab wontons, and crispy honey shrimp, then a dessert that was gross and I wont get again.
I got lost on the way home, wound up driving in a bad area of town, I was just guessing this since there was many stoplights nad no one was on the roads. LOL so I rolled up the windows and sung my heart out while trying not to freak out about how lost I was! I found the highway/freeway, after 5 years I still do not know what to call the highways out here! I got home, and put my jammies on and relaxed while watching the tele.

I cannot wait to do it again!!!!


COuntdown begins and so does the stress

I have the directions printed out for the restaurant. It would seem by looking at me that I have a first date, fluttering about the house, aimlessly looking and wondering if my fresh shower scent will disappear before I get to the place. I am worried about what I am going to wear, if my jeans are going to make me look bloated, if I look too fat, if my makeup is too much, if my gray hairs suddenly pop out from where I have hidden them, all sorts of things. Most of the time I do not care about what others think about me and just do what makes me happy and I will do that tonight also.. I just hope to God that I have something hilarious to blog about. I wonder if I should take my camera... Would they think that I am odd? Well, just in case I will keep it at home...

Just one of these things I am knocking out on my way to turning the big 40!!! Oh hey, I can invite them to my 40th party in like 8 months ahahahahahaha I'm kidding people.... well maybe.

I get to go out tonight, I get to go out tonight!!!

I am so excited. I am going out with some girlfriends, it is a Girls Night Out, we are going to PF Changs, I love that place and I love drinking the wine there. But here is the thing, I have never ever met any of these women who are going to be there in the 5 years that I have been talking to them.


When I was younger (5 years ago) a friend turned me onto blogging on Livejournal. I created a blog and I friended my friend from work. Well, since I had no friends in the area, I started reading all about her friends and what they do on a daily basis. I have read when they had their jobs, when they quit their jobs, when they had babies, and more babies, and when they had issues at the grocery store... I feel like I know these people. They are my friends. I also know for a fact that they know more about me than some of my friends I see every day do. So anyways, I am meeting them all tonight. I wonder if they are holding me up to some sort of light and are going to be dissecting me at the dinner table until I resemble an earwig. I am sure that they might be thinking that I am doing the same thing to them, I wont be of course, since I will be chuggling the Clos du Bois, hopefully the headache I get with this wine will decide that I am having enough torture and fly past me for the night. I so love this wine. I also wonder what we will talk about, since there is so much that we write about yet are afraid to ask questions in the comment section about, we continue to think about these crazy and funny people, when we are not reading the blogs.

My husband has no clue that I have not met these women, or rather met them face to face. I don't think that he would get it, and I don't want to try to explain. He called me earlier this week just to touch base and I told him I had a girls night out. I am sure he has some hot date night planned anyways since I wont be able to watch him LOL. Just kidding, I am almost to the point that I do not care about it any more. I have tried and I have given him an ultimatium and he has not jumped up to the plate so I now know what is more important to him and obviously I am not in the picture. Or rather, it has to be by his rules. I am no longer living in his rules, I live alone now for a reason, I am in charge of my own faith now and I am loving every minute of it. OK so to leave you a picture of why I cannot work from home anymore.


The 25 things about me

The "25 Random Things About Me" Meme.
As if you all haven't seen it a bajillion times.Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. Except, you know, this isn't Facebook, so, technically, all of you are tagged. And I doubt that many of you really wanted or needed to know more about me, but, there you go.Also known as The Things That Make Me, Me. And weird. How many of these did you know, anyway?

1 - I once shaved my arms, since of course I thought it was my non hairy arms that were keeping the cute boy away that I had a huge crush on/
2 - I always have hand cream in my purse. I apply it every moring and night
3 - I have become a Facebook addict. (This is so not a surprise to anyone out there...)
4 - One of my favorite things to do is drive alone and sing at the top of my lungs, I sometimes forget that the wind id rolled down.
5 - I would love to write my own book. I think that I can be as humorous as dave barry versus erma bombeck.
6 - I have never eaten Indian food, I do not like thai food or Japanese food.
7 - I want to go to South American and take pictures for a month.
8 - I want to go back to school for my masters degree but I know I will probably never use it.
9 - I am afraid of hieghts. I loved roller coasters when I was younger but my mother scared me half to death and Iwill not go on one now.. just random I guess.
10 - I taught myself to ride a bike and drive a car.
11 - I love scary movies as long as someone is watching them with me.
12 - I never want flowers again
13 - I am a total television addict
14 - I think often of what I am going to do when bryant moves out
15 - I love to cook and can spend entire weekend cooking.
16 - I only have one son, but wanted 4 children and I tried many times.
17 - I can eat Mexican food every day
18 - I only do the crossword puzzles in the people magazines
19 - I spent my 21st birthday with my mother because my husband at the time didn't want to take me out.
20 - I loved Navy Boot Camp
21 - I always go to sleep at night wondering if I will wake up in the morning and I will walk around the house to make sure it is presentable to whomever has to come in here.
22 - I miss having a connection with a supreme being
23 - I have more friends now than I ever had in my life, and I wonder if that is becuase my mother isn't around with her negative energy
24 - I loved dancing when I was in high school and college. I could do the splits.
25 - I always wanted a traditional wedding. When I got married the first time, i ordered a wedding dress but what i thought was a 26 inch waist size (LOLOL) was an actual 26, and the tailor had to take the entire dress apart.... kudos to her, it still looked like I had some huge knockers though!

A facebook meme

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes Sir ree, I consider Blue Cheese its own food group
2. Have you ever smoked? Yes
3. Do you own a gun? I did before I was pregnant with Bryant
4. What flavor Kool-Aid was your favorite? fruit punch
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I can only eat them if I do not think about them. I love tomato and pickle with mustard.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas Vacation of course.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? coffee
9. Can you do push ups? I am up to 15 without stopping
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? ?? My charm bracelet my son gave me
11. Favorite hobby? Writing
12. Do you have A.D.D.? Yes!
13. What's one trait you dislike about yourself? I'm too fat and do not have the discipline to keep my ass at the gym
14. Middle name: Marie
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: I hope I dont have heart burn, I wonder who did it on Medium, and tomorrow what am I going to wear
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, coffee, diet coke
17. Current worry? Getting out of debt
18. Current hate right now? being alone
19. Favorite place to be? with friends
20. How did you bring in the New Year? At the moose
21. Where would you like to go? Sicily
22. Name three people who will complete this? All of you. Right?
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, but I never wear them, they make my feet sweat
24 What shirt are you wearing? Yellow Chargers t-shirt
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? ewww no
26. Can you whistle? yes.
27. Favorite color? it has been Pink lately, no clue why...
28. Would you be a pirate? Only if I was with Jonny depp or orlando bloom
29. Do you sing in the shower? Oh, gawd no
30. Favorite Girl's Name? Sydney
31. Favorite boy's name? Bryant of course
32. What's in your pocket right now? Nothing
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Big Bang Theory
39. Do you have any pets? yes a cat
40. Does someone have a crush on you? I doubt it
41. Your favorite book? I love all of my books
42. Do you collect anything? OMG yes, I collect cats, porceilan snuff boxes, snowbabies
43. Favorite Sports Team? San Diego Chargers, Arizona Cardnials
44. What song do you want played at your funeral? Don't want nothing but a good time...


B and P do not mix well

Okay so we all know he is a teenager. But what I am going to focus on today is Bryant and Pool do not mix. It is never his fault, even if he is playing singles he still finds fault with everything else besides him. I am amazed to listen to him bitch and complain about the person he is playing with or against and it is a shame to have a son who cannot find fault within himself, but good also to know that I have raised a person who can go through life without always blaming himself for everything that goes on in life, relationship and work. Although I think that he will have a hard dose of reality soon.

Second Wind

Well, first day of the pool tournament and the results are pretty scary. I didn't do to well, but singles will be later. I keep telling a friend of mine that she needs to pick up the pace since this is her last tournament at Franconia so she needs to go all out and play good. We acknowledged this, and still played like crap. We got into the zone a few times then it all went downhill after that!!! We are drinking like it is the last day on earth and we are making sure that everyone knows that we are drinking. Even though it is only beer, we still can act like fools. We are all sitting at the bar, right now as I type, I am typing, sue is knitting along with Amanda and the only one drinking is Michele and Sandrine. They are making up for earlier when they couldn't hang.


Still in California but not for long...

Funny how when you are sitting in a conference and the presenter is boring you start to look around at the other people that you are sharing the room with, as you are categorizing these people as married, single, looking and plain out no thank you. I try not to be bias, but when you are wearing slacks with crocks, I tend to be wary. The presentations have been great and i have enjoyed them emmensely, I think my co-worker is following me around, making sure I go, whatever. Tonight I am back in ocean beach point loma area and I am going to take pictures of the sunset and there are supposed to be clouds tonight so I think it is going to be amazing.


Sunny San Diego

I didn't know how much I missed this place until I arrived on Saturday and went outside the airport while I was waiting my luggage. OMG the sun on my face was the most magnificent feeling in the world, and yes this includes sex and seeing your child for the first time. The warmth on my face made me feel myself again, and through the next 24 hours all unpleasant feelings have disappeared and I am happy. I have not wanted to stay in the hotel room and be lazy. This morning I took what I thought was going to be a short walk to take pictures at Torrey Pines State Reserve and I wound up walking all the way down to the beach. It was amazing. I walked all together today about 3.5 miles, yes I was wearing my pedometer. I want to be concious of my exercise while I am on vacation so that I can eat a bit of what I want, rolled tacos, hot dogs from weinerschnitzel, a bagel with garlic, bacon and basil spread (Only in Ocean Beach) carne asada burrito's and whatever else I feel like eating. I have also been drinking my water so yea me!!

I havent though told you how sore I am already. I feel like I have just played 2 rounds of golf. I sat down for about 30 minutes with a friend and I basically told her, well if you want me to drive to Old Town we need to leave now because I am starting to stiffen up. Hello I am not a sexual part of a man's body, I do not stiffen up. UGH!!!

OMG I cannot believe that the Cardnials just lost...