Hiya Sandy!!!

Here in Virginia, along with most of the east coast are patiently waiting for Sandy to leave.  She hasn't even arrived yet, and I'm a bit interested in seeing the results.  I love storms, with the exception of losing power.  Everything is charged and ready to go.  iPad, iPod, iPhone, Nook, Laptop, flashlights.  Candles are visible and a few bags of ice are in the freezer. 

I did go to the grocery store today, just to see what was going on.  There was no milk.  Now, I am wondering what these people are going to do with all of this milk when the power goes out.  Make hot chocolate or eat 3 boxes of cereal in one sitting.  Since I'm not really a milk drinker, I can't fathom having that much cow in my house.  There was also no bread nor bananas.  I can understand this, since I could live on peanut butter sandwiches forever. 

Right now it is raining and I have my sliding door open and the temperature is going down. 

Government offices are closed tomorrow so people can sit in their dark homes with no power while their place of employment has power... I'm not complaining just trying to see the intelligence here.  I know I wouldn't want to go to work without a shower etc.

Oh yea, I went up in the gutters today and found a dead squirrel... I so didn't want to pick it up, but of course I had to.  After I threw my back out almost falling off of the ladder, I poked at it a few times with a broom stick just to ensure it was dead, and not playing a Halloween joke on me, I pushed it, trying to get it to magically fall on the next door neighbor's property.. no such luck, it seemed to be glued to the gutter wall.  My fingers were going to come in contact with this dead rodent.  I climbed down from the ladder and contemplated taking a nap, hoping when I woke up it would have been just a bad dream or a nightmare.  I made Daisy and Calvin go in the house, just in case they thought that the dead thing was a new chew toy, and then proceeded to pace my house.
So then I got a huge trash bag and put a hole in it for my hand... which I had an old gardening glove on.  I was hoping I could transfer the rodent into the bag without really feeling its body, ribs, hair... anything that would remind me I was touching something dead. 
I wish someone would have videotape the next few moments because of course when you are handling dead critters, things never go as planned.  I swear when I scooped it up the thing bolted towards me and grew wings (think of the squirrel in Christmas Vacation).  The glove, squirrel, trash bag and broom all wound up on the patio deck, and I was bravely still on the ladder.  I have to give myself a few points for that one, heh!

Needless to say, all dead rodents are safely tucked in the trash can.  It's trash night so it will be gone.  I am hoping however that the squirrel doesn't believe in reincarnation because I am pretty sure I'm on his shit list.


As we all go through life mistakes will be made and as I was told growing up, as long as you had learned something from the mistake it was okay.

I am on a new path.  Well, actually it is an old, well used path that I wandered away from.  I have had the itch during the past 8 months to get back into teaching.  I missed being around the liveliness of the children as well as witnessing the looks on their faces when they succeeded at something that they thought was unattainable.  Well, for the past year I took some time from the work force, started my Master's degree in Elementary Education and spent time in classrooms to ensure that I would be able to handle the amount of energy that these young guns give off.  Good news, I knew I could handle being in the classroom and was looking forward to it.  I just recently started interviewing for teaching positions in the private schools and am looking forward to finding my classroom.  Oh and by the way, I was an awesome teacher, because of the team I created with the parents as well as the students.  Amazing how much support is out there when you just ask.

My own schooling is very vivacious and entertaining.  I have succeeded in every class that I have taken and received various amounts of praise from my professors and in fact one of them is going to help me when I am ready to start on my doctorate.  Interesting how life works at times.

2 years ago I thought I found something I loved to do and while I did enjoy it, I always wanted to go back to teaching.  I would put this goal off each year, waiting for the right time to get my feet wet again.  The right time never came because so many things were more important.  Now the importance is no longer there. Because of a tragedy, I was able to finally do what I want to do.


Don't wait for your tragedy to do something that you have always wanted to do...
I'm just saying.


A New Beginning

I often wonder when the "right" time is.
I havent written for almost a year. Things were very stagnant and I hit a low in my life and nothing was happy or sunny or funny enough to write about. I basically crawled under a rock for awhile until it was time to go out at night, in which I drownded my sorrows, went home, lather rinse repeat, you get the jist of it all.

I went on a trip to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee for a photo trip. There were 6 of us and many of us had extensive knowledge of our camera with the exception of, yours truly!! I loved the landscape and the area, and in fact looked athouses there as well. The people I was with were all very different. There was a retired male doctor from Dallas who insisted on always talking and if he was not interested in what you were talking about, he would change the subject right in the middle of someone else's sentence. There was another gentleman who was afraid of heights. Umm, we were in the mountains, going hiking and there were cliffs. This fear, kept us from going on a few great hikes. Another older gentleman was very nice and I have nothing bad to say about him. His wife was coming out at the end of the week and they were planning a trip into Pigeon Forge. There was also a lady and her daughter on the trip as well. The mother was nice, but the daughter had a really high pitched voice, all of themen were enthralled with the energy she had and basically it was awful. I will definately look for a younger group if I do this again. The instructor was afraid to let us go walking on our own for the fear of one ofthe olderpeople falling down and breaking something. Getting lost as well. I know I get lost soof course I stayed a little close untilIgot comfortable with the surroundings and then you just had to watch out for baby cubs. Cuz where there are baby cubs, if your around you better start looking for one pissed off mamma.

I had a wonderful time in the mountains and learned a lot about my camera, met a few people whom I would never talk to again and I used that to my benefit. Yes, I was that person, who was always late, who forgot things and who never wanted to join in the reindeer games HAH. I did however have my own coffee pot in my room that I brought from home, so I was in heaven. I also had my own car and would venture out into the small towns in the area and check them out... yea, I was that person ahah.

I also drove all the way out to California by myself. I took my time driving out there, listening to music and reflecting while I drove. The nights were amazing, many times I would pull over and just watch the stars in the sky and promised never to take advantage of the nighttime sky ever again. I stopped in Kansas, Utah, Arizona, Nevada, and then finally California.

I stopped to have my oil changed in California and met this really young couple who just got married, they saw my license plates and were amazing at me for driving the long distance. When I explained to them why and how I was trying to view my life they understood and wished me luck in my endevors. I stayed at a hotel at the beach and it was also amazing. The overcast was dreary but the smell of the Pacific Ocean was something I was craving without realizing it. Once I smelled the ocean and put my feet in the sand, I was calm for the first time in a long time. I didn't stay long, a family emergency back home made me drive straight through back to Virginia. Everything turned out to be fine, and I then slept the most I had slept since Brian died. I slept for 3 days. I woke up refreshed and with the same calmness as I felt at the beach.

I then found the gym. I was able to spend all day there if I wanted to and no one knew me or my story. I didn't have to deal with awkward stares or questions. I could do what I wanted and I did. I am now addicted to running again, something I havent been doing since I lived in San Diego. I started doing things that made me happy without feeling guilty. I started playing pool more and in fact this season I am in two leagues. I really enjoy it,even though it is not improving my game at all. Bryant is doing fine and I thinking starting to live his life again instead of worrying about me all of the time.

I did quit working at MITRE. I loved my job but I was missing something. I missed the joy of being around children. I really missed teaching and the smiles and looks of success from children. I wanted to get back into the education field. I took some time off to take care of some personal stuff and ensure that this career change was what I really wanted to do, since the change also came with a huge pay cut. I really wasn't looking at the money anymore. I wanted to be happy and smile every day. When I was teaching in San Diego, it was fun and the children were so alive and happy. They knew what to do in order to make themselves happy and sometimes I wish adulthood was as easy as being a child.
Just a small update.

I promise I will start writing more about this past year. I am going to spend some time reflecting on the past 6 months and remember what I have learned in the process and just smile more.

I still miss him, it doesn't hurt as much. I keep busy and try to better myself whenever I can.