Christmas Past

With times as tight as they are becoming now, I am remembering Christmases in my past that were very short and nothing was under the tree. It brings to light the person that I have become and why the holidays are so important to me. One christmas we had was because of the Salvation Army, who allowed me to pick out a few gifts while they gave my mother a food basket. One Christmas - was grand, because credit cards found their way into my mothers hands. Later on, it would curse us as she would file for bankruptcy. One Christmas there was nothing but a small tree, my mother choose to drink our chirstmas fund. Our Christmases never were really spectacular. When I started working, they turned out better, but not by much. As I grew older I never really got the feeling of Christmas, I felt like I was a pawn in some monsterous game and that some day it would be true that the Holidays are just for rich people. I only had 15 Christmases with my mother, I moved out and became emancipated when I turned 16. Christmases were better, alot better. I would spend the holidays with one of my teachers family, and just the feeling in the house was amazing. I only received practical gifts, which was fine, from people that did not even really know me, but welcomed me into their house, and with open arms allowed me to feast on their wealth of family. That feeling was so overpowering, like the feeling a person gets from their first hit of acid, or herion, you never forget that feeling. I try to copy it every year, and the feeling I create, though good, is not the same as I felt when I was with this family, until this week. I am a member of a Moose Lodge. We do alot of drinking, playing pool, picnics, and road trips. We also do functions and make money for our lodge(men) and chapter (women). This year, I am the head honchette of the women. I dont know what this means except that I am utterly busy and have no time for myself during the busy periods. I was blessed this year, by a wonderful board and my chairman are the best chairmen I think that we have had in a long time. Anyways, I am getting off track here. The chapter raises money for the children at Mooseheart and we also raise money for in house events. This Christmas we recieved many donations of food and money to give to needy people in our area. We have always helped when we could, and this year being no different we picked 4 families to give to. One of our members, has a neighbor who is married with two children. These children are amazing, so full of grace and heartfelt wonder to them that you dont want to break their hearts or spirit at christmas. The husband is an E4 living in DC and his wife is a stay at home mother who takes care of her children and makes sure that there is a nutritious dinner on the table each and every night. I have met her a few times, and when you see her you know there is nothing in her heart except friendliness and love towards her family and I know that she is making that ultimate decision of whether to pay a bill or to buy a gift for her children for Christmas morning. The chapter agreed that we would give her a monetary donation as well as a food basket filled with food, not just for Christmas dinner but for all days. We also, decided amoungst ourselves that we would take up a donation and buy a gift card for the children so they could have presents. Our little group collected 100 bucks in 10 mimutes for this family. This is what Christmas is all about, and when everyone was putting dollars into a bucket that night, that was when I had that same overpowering feeling I had when I felt the warmth and love from people I did not know. I learned that the feeling does come back... when you are ready to let it in...


For the next couple of days, I'm going to get all introspective on you and reflect on the year that was 2008. This is the first segment.
Was 2008 good for you? In some ways yes.. but mostly no. But I did learn alot about myself and what exactly i want from life
What was your favorite moment of the year? the Children's christmas party
What was your worst moment of the year? April 26th 2008.
Where were you when 2008 began? At the Moose With my husband and friends all around.
Who were you with? Hubby and friends
Where will you be when 2008 ends? Same place but differenet spirit
Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008? I didnt make any. I will be changing that this year.
Do you have a new years resolution for 2009? I want to publish a short story and get in shape before I turn 40.
Did you fall in love in 2008? No.
If yes, with who?
Are you still in love? Honestly, I dont know
Did you breakup with anyone in 2008? Kinda
Did you make any new friends in 2008? Yes, I did.
Who are your favorite new friends? ALL of my new friends.
What was your favorite month of 2008? ??? good and bad in every month.
Why this month?
Did you travel outside of the US (or your home country) in 2008? No
How many different places did you travel to in 2008? Las Vegas, california Massacusetts.
Did you miss anybody in the past year? Geez, yes.
What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? I don't know. I saw a ton.
What was your favorite song from 2008? 

How many concerts or plays did you see in 2008? None
Did you have a favorite concert in 2008? Nope
What was your favorite book in 2008? Book 4 of twilight
How many people did you sleep with in 2008? None
Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? Yes.
What was the biggest lie you told in 2008? i love you
Did you treat somebody badly in 2008? Yes.
Did somebody treat you badly in 2008? Definitely.
What was your proudest moment of 2008? Starting another new career at 38 yrs old.
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008? hmm, I am sure.. omg I cant write it here... but it has to do with laughing then coughing then peeing and then sneaking out of the moose.

If you could go back to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? I would be a different person, one that my husband wanted to be with... it takes two.
Where did you work in 2008? Web design
Favorite TV shows(s) of 2008? Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist,
Favorite Band(s) of 2008? ??? Nickleback
Favorite Food in 2008? Lime and garlic smart pop popcorn
Favorite Drink in 2008? Cranberry and a hint of lime juice
Favorite Place in 2008?
my bedroom

Favorite person(s) to be with in 2008?
How many more questions can I skip?
Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2008?
Favorite trip in 2008? Snowshoe
Most exciting moment(s) in 2008? Moving into a house
Funniest moment(s) in 2008? Anything that made my son laugh
Feel free to answer any, all, or none in the comment section or on your own blog.


Almost Friday

Bryant is still sick. I am finally forcing drugs down his throat along with hot tea, lemon and honey. He has that horrible cough that has been going around and each day I pray and thank god that I have not gotten that cough. YUCK!

It has been raining non stop today, and here I am wishing it was snow. I want a real blizzard LOL.

Friend is doing well, she has a few more weeks before the dreaded day, and I am wondering what I can do for her. Send her flowers? Bake her something, make a meal for her family? I have no clue. I do have her address, so I think flowers are in order. I should make my tater tot casserole for them, since I know her son needs to eat.



Holiday spirit

I need to get Bryant into the holiday spirit. He doesn't want to do anything for the holidays! I do have a feeling that it has something to do with our budget and how I am scrimping for the holidays. I have put money aside for him, so I keep asking him what he wants for Christmas and all I get is nothing is fine. UGH!!! Times like this is when his selflessness comes out and I am truely glad he has that fine quality and I guess I can say he brings it at the right time. I remember when Bryant was little I would go all out on decorations and make sure that the house was a prime example of going overboard and having a christmas house. I would make sure that all of the decorations that he made at school were hung all over the house and we would unlink one link a day on his christmas chain. I had an advent calendar which was a house with doors for each day and I would have candy in them or a small trinket. He thought that was the neatest thing. I also has a Santa Claus that I would take and put in the house, and each night I would put it in a seperate place, so that Bryant would wake up each day looking for it... it was fun..


No title

Plain and simple, it is cold outside. For the first time, I wore a jacket last night! Bryant is starting his weekend off pretty well, he went to Culpepper to play in a pool tournament with Brian. Hope that he does well. He has been playing pool since he was 13 and it is really starting to show. I cannot wait till he wants to be in a league. He might make me some money after all LOL.
I have Daisy the Dog this weekend. She is lounging on the couch and I am wondering why she thinks that she can eat everything that I am eating. As I was typing this sentence I looked around to give my dog a loving glance, then I noticed that she was not on the couch, under my feet or behind me.. OMG I left her outside. I ran to the back door thinking that she might be gone cuz she was not scratching at the door. She was out by the fence looking at something?? But she came in and starting eating the cats food.

Alrighty. time to go christmas shopping.


Dear God

Please make sure my friend makes it through the first week of January and for years afterwards. She is a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, and all of the above. I wish I could do something. I wonder what she is thinking really, not just what she is telling us... I am scared that if it was me, I would not be strong enough to be able to do it.

Mark your calendars....So,I scheduled my surgery today. It's January 5th....double mastectomy, reconstructive surgery and sentinal node biopsy all in one shot. OY! Gulp....it's real now. THUD!


I am such a cool mom. Lasst night I made Bryant's currently favorite meal, mac and cheese and sloppy jo's. After that we vegged out for awhile and then Brian wanted us to go to the Moose with him so he could spend some time with Bryant. We went up there and it was okay. I was tired. But we got home late and I, the responsible parent says, "We HAVE to have birthday cake on your Birthday! So Bryant and I are in the kitchen eating cake at 11pm. That will be something he remembers. And I didnt even complain this morning when he woke up late and asked for a ride to school, I kinda figured that was coming.


Happy Studly 16 to my son!!

Well, today is the big day. My son, is 16. I cannot believe that I have, well either of us for that matter, have made it this far without killing the other. He has put me through every trial and tribulation that is available, and I am sure that there are more to follow. He has proved me stronger that he, he has made me more assertive, more self assured and happy to be alive at times. He has been there for me on each birthday, with a smile on his face and a great big grin when I cook his birthday cake. His favorit is yellow cake mix with chocolate frosting. Yes this is also my favorite and I would not tell him that for years because I was worried he would change his favorite to be something other than mine.

Ten things that he enjoys :
1. Scary movies - he loves these much more than I do and I do enjoy them very much. Right now we are watching "The Descent" (One of my favorites becuase the protagonist actually dies at the end)
2. Gummie bears - I have no clue, but he did take a picture of two of them in a provacative position and had that as a screen saver on his cell phone...
3. Pizza - Pizza Hut, hand tossed cheese lovers pizza.
4. Ice cream sammiches (the mint chocolate chip ones where the ice cream is actually minty green not white)
5. TV Shows - anything comedic - Big Bang theory, how I met your mother and 2 1/2 men are among his favorite
HE LOVES watching cartoons and the disney channel (at 16???)
6. Playing Pool - he learned from me and now he is better than me and ready to join my league..wonder if he will be on my team.
7. Bottled Root Beer is one if his favorite drinks, but he could drink a 12 pack of them in one sitting, scares me to think how he is going to be drinking the real beer.
8. Football, I wish he was better at this because of how much he loves being part of a team, horsing around with them, and playing street ball. He is also on a fantasy football league this year.
9. Scaring people - I dont know if he learned this one from me.. but he loves to lurk in the shadows and scare people half to death. He doesn't care who it is, it could be people that are 90 years old (Sorry Dot and Myra) people that he knows are going to chase him down and kill him or even his mother. He gets such the kick out of it too, we will go for days scaring each other and then Bryant will just stand there laughing and the tears are coming down his face because he is laughing so hard.
10. Friends. he likes being around his friends. He is a good friend, and can get along with most people. He values the friendship.

Ten things that I like about him:
His humor
His Cleanliness, meaning that he will take a shower.. not how his room is a tornado
His Humor
His love of food, this boy will eat anything
His ability to amuse himself
His character
How he treats others
His love for the animals
Did I mention his humor
His ability to cook

Things that scare me:
His Independence. I taught him that he needs to be able to take care of himself and not have to rely on others for anything... I think at times I taught him too well.


Tis the season... come on now

This morning, I heard that another friend is taking her mother in for a biospy today. I am kinda shocked. She is a much older young lady and she is one of the nicest people that you can meet. Also found out that the same friends husband just got laid off of work and his last day will be Friday. He has 4 kids and goes all out for Christmas. This economy is not helping anything. UGH, i hope that things change but I also hope that they change for the better. I can't really think right now... whew!

Made the best Orange Chicken last night, got it from Costco. Had some rice and eggrolls. brought some today for lunch with some broccoli also yummie.