Adventures at the DMV

As you all know I wait till the last minute to do anything for myself, then expect the world to bend over backwards to ensure that I get what I want when I want it or need it.

Well, I found out that the DMV is not part of my world.

I do not think that they want to be either.

I was making my plane reservations and such for my trip to Anaheim, California and thought to myself, since no one was listening to me, I should rent a car and go to San Diego for a night.
Suddenly a dark cold feeling washed over my body, seems that I forgot to renew my driver’s license when it was due. I remember making the time to do it, I just never got there. I check the date just to make sure it was not my imagination and maybe just maybe I renewed it.

I Loathe the DMV. PERIOD

You have to sit there with other people right next to you. They are coughing or look like they haven’t showered, and I always seem to pick the seat next to said person, or said person sits right next to me when there is an empty chair next to me. Some of them smell, or they want to talk to you forever, and after a few minutes of realizing that they do not contribute much to Jessica's world I want to go back to my book and make them go *poof*

I also remember when we first moved to Virginia and the requirements to get a license was outrageous. I had to go home 3 different times for information that I needed or I had the wrong paperwork. Yes, there is a list of info at the DMV, but for the proof of residency was a bill, and the deed to the house or something to that effect. I took some tax paperwork on the house. Wasn’t the same. I didn’t have a bill yet, since of course we just moved to the area. It was a bit confusing, yet I finally got it done and had the most amazing picture for my license.

Flash Forward a few years….

To this month. I went to the DMV in the afternoon, since it is so busy in the morning and I didn’t have meetings.

I walked in.

The mean lady at the desk gave me the information to fill out, told me I was to take the tests over since um it has been awhile since my renewal notice.

She directed me to the waiting area with a number

She did not give me a clip board, which I didn’t even know that they had until I filled out all of the information using my wallet as a desk.

I finished the paperwork and waited



An hour later they call my number, do the eye exam, take picture and was told I would have to take all of the tests over again. All I cared about was if they could use my picture from the old expired license...

Including the drivers test, excuse me but what???????
Umm okay

I was so frustrated and mad, that I failed the test.


I could go back the next day and retake it for a 2 dollar fee

Umm no thanks!

So I wait a few days, and go back again

Different lady at the front door

She had teacher qualities to her

Fill this out

Bring back to me

I will give you a number


Fill out everything all over again

Turn it in, get a number

NUMBER is magically called

The gods knew that they did not want me to lose my shirt at the DMV

I went through the eye test AGAIN

The picture AGAIN, I asked if they could use my old picture, the one where I look hot and cute and was thin.. sigh

The questions AGAIN

Then I find out


I have to take the driving portion of the test


I say fine whatever

Kill me now

I pass the written test

And wait for the driving test, wondering if I remember how to make a 3 point turn.

I wonder if I need to be parked somewhere special

I think omg hand signals, omg I don’t have windshield wash in my fluids

I think omg that man is so going to fail me

I see an Asian man who is doing the driving test

He is the one that failed me a few days ago

I wonder if he remembers me

OMG he is really going to fail me now!!!

I start to panic, blood rushing to my head, heart racing.

I hear my name being called.

It’s an older lady who loves my air conditioning.

We drive around the corner

The lady is talking so much I think she is just happy to have the conversation

I passed the test, after driving around the block…

In my own neighborhood.


Now what is not sweet is the picture in my driver’s license, and no you will not ever see it.

By the way, I wanted to laugh and tell them the reason my license was expired was because the picture was so much better, and I was cute, hot and young... oh that picture was great!

Says Tony the Tiger.