2/15/2009

My former single life

Was to say the least very interesting. My son and I moved in with my mother and while I worked and went to school she would keep an eye on Bryant. So needless to say, I didn't date much since I mean come on you can't really bring home a guy and expect to have casual sex while mother and son looked on. I just concentrated on school and work. When I turned 30 I bought a computer and discovered the world of AOL, and of course chat rooms. I loved those, I could stay up all night and talk to people all over the world who had the same interests as I did. I then thought it would be neat to put a personal ad up and see what would happen.
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This is what happened...
I met many men online, I figured that it was the same as being on a blind date or meeting someone at a bar. My mother would freak out so I would call her at all different times during the date. I went on many, but there are a few that stuck in my head for various reasons, once you read this you will understand. One man I talked to for weeks online, and on the phone. His voice was pleasant and we had much in common so we decided to go to dinner and a movie. He was to pick me up at such and such time, and he would drive. Everything was all planned and my mom was keeping an eye on my son, so minutes before we were supposed to meet I ran downstairs to take out the garbage (we lived in an apartment) and I walked past some random guy just standing there, and when I walked past him I smelled something horrid. OMG it was coming from the man. I hurriedly took the trash out and went up the stairs a different way. About 5 minutes later my date called and informed me that he was downstairs. I grabbed my purse and went down to meet him.... it was him... stinky... omg what do I do?? I bet you 5 bucks I could have walked right past him pretending I was someone else. I wasn't thinking that fast and I smiled and said Hi I am Jessica. On the way we were, we went to old town for dinner, the dinner was nice, but throughout the dinner I could catch a whiff of his smell oh my gawd I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. He then paid for the dinner, which I quickly said "well, since you paid for dinner I will pay for the movie. We went to see sixth sense, and I am here to say that I was so involved in the movie that I knew Bruce was dead way before the story closed in. He took me home, no kiss involved and that was it.
Another...
Another man I met had a few teeth missing... that was a coffee date, I was learning to keep the dates short and closer to home to make for a quick getaway!
Another man I met was nice, but the most sloppiest kisser in the world, oh it was gross. That one did not last long either.
Another man I met online was really funny but then he would say the wierdest things at the strangest times I dont exactly remember what he said but I always aquainted him with a serial killer. Nuff said.
One man I met at a bar down by the beach was a really great guy, had his own place nearby and was really into sports. One thing.. his feet stuck to high heaven, but of course I didnt know this til I spent the night once... I couldnt make it through the night, I left around 3 am and walked the few blocks home. OMG then he kept on calling the house and leaving messages. My mother and I had seperate phone lines, but she could hear the messages that were being left by this guy and he would have her laughing in her chair. We started calling him cling free.

Stay tuned for more...

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