Hello Uterus!

Obviously by the title you can tell that I am not talking about bacon today, nor am I talking about planting or photography so if you are a normal male you might want to move on.

I am on the phone now, on hold with my doctor's office. They have not called me to tell me everything that is going to happen and to tell me that I am being over cautious and extremely difficult right now. I am waiting for them to tell me what to expect and why the hell I am going to be off work for 6 weeks. I don't quite understand the entire process and since I am paying for it, I should be getting color by number steps of exactly what they are going to do. I am not difficult in any means. i just want to request that someone hold my hand through the entire procedure and whisper sweet nothings in my ear and watch for tears coming out of my eyes in case I am still awake during the procedure. Yes, I know I watch too much television, but hey at least if it does happen I know exactly what to do right? So I guess that they are going to call me back with all of the anwers to my questions and give me peace of mind. I hate being difficult because then I am afraid she, the doctor, is going to say... well, if you are going to be this bitchy about the entire thing I am not going to do it to you! You are going to have to live with the pain of life for the rest of your life ahaha. I love the doctor, I just never had a hospital procedure done, with an overnight stay that has been planned before so this is fun. I am sure my mother would be on the phone and would stay on the phone till she gets all of the answers she needs, if she was here, I would make her do all of the work while I continued to live in my dream world.

OK so I am going to be away for a day or so, I dont want no one to worry, I have planted crops on farmville that I wont have to harvest for 4 days. If I dont answer the phone, I am sure I cannot due to the fact that I have a mouth full of bon bon's so just leave a message and I will get back to you!!!!


  1. Dianne4/20/2010

    You are so clever and cute Jess. Let me know what you're having done. I had a partial hysterectomy done last July with another procedure...I'll explain later. It was easy as cheesecake....ahem...enjoy the Vicodin and Valium.. 571.594.0387...if you need me.

  2. Anonymous4/20/2010

    You will be just fine. I know it is difficult and scary but like they told me through the last 2 surgeries...it is just routine and the doctors do this everyday, I know...it was not to reassuring to me either! LOL! But seriously, you will be fine! Now all the waiting & pain will soon be gone and Elvis has almost left the building! Take Care, Pam

  3. Hey Jess I hope everything goes ok leep in touch..I think you have my number so if you get a chance in your time off maybe we can talk.....take it easy on your recovery time.