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It's too early to be up without coffee

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Hello Uterus!

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Obviously by the title you can tell that I am not talking about bacon today, nor am I talking about planting or photography so if you are a normal male you might want to move on. I am on the phone now, on hold with my doctor's office. They have not called me to tell me everything that is going to happen and to tell me that I am being over cautious and extremely difficult right now. I am waiting for them to tell me what to expect and why the hell I am going to be off work for 6 weeks. I don't quite understand the entire process and since I am paying for it, I should be getting color by number steps of exactly what they are going to do. I am not difficult in any means. i just want to request that someone hold my hand through the entire procedure and whisper sweet nothings in my ear and watch for tears coming out of my eyes in case I am still awake during the procedure. Yes, I know I watch too much television, but hey at least if it does happen I know exactly what to do right? So ...
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A Friday Funny

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So I have gotten many questions on why this photograph is so funny. Take a look... I bet you can see it So you can't see the funny in here so let me explain. Okay, so as I was clicking the shutter for this picture, my friend whom I was with, was basically kissing the pavement. No, it was not funny at first, cuz she as well as her dysfunctional tripod and her camera were sprawled in front of Arlington Cemetery, it was dark and there were definately cars coming. As soon as I was clicking to take this picture I heard the thud. I didnt think it was her, I thought someone threw something out of a car. So I look over, see her ass and equipment sprawled out and all I said was, "omg, Lisa get up the cars are coming." I then saw the tripod in three to six pieces, the glint from each of the legs shinning in the night light to give their position, so it was easier to find all of the pieces (remember I said dysfunctional tripod). Then the camera which I learned later came off of the...
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I have once again over obligated myself

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I have this really bad habit of saying, "Sure, I don't mind doing that". Of course what I fail to realize is that I am not super woman, and I do only have 24 hours in one day just like every one else. There is no reason for me to "one up" everyone else or prove that I can do everything on my list for the nest week: 1. Cook my magnificent stuffed shells for the Moose dinner Monday night, of course we just cant serve store bought shells and no I am not giving anyone my reciepe so, "Sure, I can cook the shells that night." 2. Have to pack for a trip to Williamsburg this weekend coming up. I have to figure out what I am going to wear if it is armpit sweat hot, or if it is just going to be breezy hot. I have golf shirts that do not have sleeves, but I only wear those for those "right before I think I am going to pass out from the heat." No woman with my arm flab (third boob) should wear sleeveless shirts. But there is a point. I have to do ...
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