2nd Draft of Beginning

 Not even 6:00am and she had already produced so much sweat, and so thick that when she scratched her arm, flakes would fall off. The day was proving to be a record breaker. She was looking forward to working inside with the air conditioning. 

She still had about an hours worth of digging ahead of her.  She took off her hat and used the arm of her shirt to wipe the sweat off of her forehead.  Instant burning of the eyes, she winced and cussed under her breath.  Her hat fell to the ground as she took her water bottle and squirted the water in her eyes full force for instant relief.  She wasn't even thinking of the tiny granules getting into her eyes, she made sure not to rub her eyes, she just kept blinking til she felt relief. Wiping the water off of her face, she knelt down and picked up her hat and got back to work.  Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her bangs stuck to her face.  She was sure she looked like a million bucks.  The small break proved negative to the palms of her hands. When she grabbed the shovel, her hands started screaming, she needed to hurry up.  She had taken advantage of the remote location and took her time throughout the night.  She had done her research with the soils in this area with the lake bed, however this wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.  

She started thinking that with summer coming, she should do recon around the new hotels being built.  Vegas was changing, new strip, new hotels, more family themes.  With all of these new hotels there should be plenty of places to hide dead bodies.

She took another drink of water and squeezed some water on her hands.  It was temporary but it would do.  She took a look at her surroundings with the light from the sun coming, she hurriedly finished the hole.  As if on cue, there came a perfect, with a slight morning chill, the cool breeze coming from the mountains. As she turned her face into the wind, her entire body cooled down by what felt like ten degrees. 

She breathed in deeply and got back to work. There was a layer of dirt, silt maybe and it instantly attached itself to the skin.   Mixing with her sweat, it made sort of a mud, which itched like crazy.  She frowned and started digging. How much longer for this hole to be ready anyways, she thought.  It wasn't her first hole and it sure as hell won't be her last. Keeping track of the holes she dug was like a teenage boy keeping track of his conquests on his bedpost.  This hole was her sixth hole she had dug.  Throughout the years she had learned of the best soil to dig or bury things, she learned of the different wildlife in the area surrounding her town.  She learned of bugs and the life cycle of a fly.  She knew how deep to dig the hole.  She learned what to mix into the bodies so that they don't attract cadaver sniffing dogs or beasts like lions or bears.  She spent months making sure she could dig a hole with a specific measurement, and actually timed herself digging holes.  She would go camping for the weekend and dig in different areas just to get used to it.  She learned how to check the area prior to make sure the growth surrounding the target hasn't been rustled lately.  She times the driving from the freeway to the hiding spot.  Lastly she knew how to make a fresh dig look like it had never been touched.

When she first moved to the town, she would go on many road trips and see what was surrounding this hellhole.  She had no friends and could only sit in a hotel room so long before going crazy.  She loved driving with the windows down and the radio blaring.  She made sure to highlight the areas on the map she kept in the car.  

She aggressively stabbed at the ledges surrounding the opening but only made the hole wider, not deeper.  She will not be using this location again. She had done her research but obviously not enough.   Once the hole was large enough she rolled the black plastic bag into the hole, and buried it.  The burying part was easy and took very little time.  She added the powdered cement to the mixture. It helped solidify the hole when it would rain.   It was now time to get back to the city, and get back to work. She hated being late. She made sure to pick up every tool she had used.  She put her clothes and shoes into another plastic bag, she will throw them away later.  She threw the shovel back in the bed of her truck, grabbed the empty water bottle off of the ground and got into the truck.  She sat there for a few minutes to gather her thoughts and to just make sure she had no reason to get home and have to turn around because she forgot or lost something at the site.  She reached down to the passenger foot area and grabbed her backpack.  She had her wallet, had the key to the hotel, keys to the truck and mailbox.  She had everything she brought. She turned on a morning show and just relaxed.  No one would bother her here.  

She tried to think of ways to not internalize the dead person.  She didn't kill them, she just got rid of them.  She would get an address and time.  She would choose where. The first kill was very personal and she will remember each minute, each second of that job.  She tried to not think but every time she stopped thinking that face would jump in front of her.  As if it was a jump scare.  Since then she would try to normalize the job.  Look at the possessions on the body and tell a story.  She would take in the surroundings and add them to the story.  Just to make the job and time go faster. She enjoyed giving these people a story. Each story would end with their death and since she put the story together from beginning to end, she had power over it. The only job that still bothers her is that first one. She could be laying down in bed, exhausted from work, ready to fall asleep and then her face appears.  It was so shocking that she couldn't sleep.  She never talked about it to anyone.  The body was on a bed, the head was face down, arms at the side.  She was laying straight.  I was told to put her in my truck like she is drunk and needs a ride.  From then on I am on my own.  This was my fault.  My mess and I had to clean it up.  I was giving plenty of time to take care of the entire thing myself.  I brought her into the mix, I trusted her to be honest with me.  I told everyone she was okay.  It wasn't my fault she was dead.  I tried to get her out of town but she didn't believe that Bossman wanted her dead.  Bossman did at one time love Natali, but that love turned destructive.  He gave her so much and she kept taking, taking, taking.  

He gave her a second chance.  A second chance that he gives to no one else, proving how much he really loved her.  He got her in rehab, he kept her job for her. He had done so much for her.  I think he wanted Natali to be like his daughter.  His daughter had run away when she was 14.  She was a firecracker and did not want to live by the rules.  She had left on a Friday, and she hasn't been heard from since.  Bossman has never changed his phone number and will never move.  Not until his daughter is found.  He keeps her face and her missing poster on a billboard towards Henderson.  He also adopted the highway along the billboard so we are always out there paying our respects and cleaning the area.  BossMan would make it a huge thing, every few months he would close the bar and restaurant to the public.  In the morning we would do the cleaning of the highway, have a grilled lunch at the site, her favorite was bbqs and summer picnics so we would fire up the grill and throw hotdogs and burgers. The community would also come out, they would bring side dishes and help with the clean up.  Bossman does this once a quarter and he really goes all out.  After the lunch he talks about his family, including all of us in that speech.  We then go to a local teenager runaway support group and donate a huge wad of cash. Then we all go back to the bar to chat, play cards, order dinner and party all night.  This was Bossmans way of saying thank you for everything you do.

Whew, her eyes flew open as she jolted awake.

Those are memories she didn't want to relive today.  She started the truck and thought of what she wanted for breakfast.  She had a 30 minute drive ahead of her and she wanted some coffee.  As soon as she saw the first exit that had such coffee she was stopping.

FLASHBACK TO HER LAST DAY IN THE MILITARY

Let me backtrack a bit.

The day she was discharged from the military was uneventful.  She was a bit disappointed that only a few of her coworkers came to the luncheon, but not surprised.  She wasn't in the military to make friends, she was there to do a job. The friends were just a bonus. Her upbringing made it very hard for her to open up and make friends so most of the time they had to do all the work.  She kept to herself and had only dated a few times.  Men in the military were different. She noted that all they wanted pretty much was sex in the beginning.  

Then when they see your fighting chops they get scared and shy and forget how to talk to you as a woman. They know you would die for them, but will you join them in bed was a different story.  Then once the respect of your performance hit, you got the big wigs asking you out or trying to still get in your pants.  They figure since she isn't dating enlisted she is an officer wanter.  Not really, she just wanted to do her job, at the best of her ability. Men usually left her alone, which is exactly what she wanted.

Until James.  He was an asshole the first time she met him.  Now they were friends for life.

She would spend hours just sitting outside the tent and watching people. How they walked, how they carried themselves when in uniform and armed. You could tell who had what training.  A soldier that doesn't move an arm while walking, usually has been trained to have that arm ready to grab a gun and fire.  She did a variety of operations where she worked with many people that she cannot acknowledge when she sees them.  She had been trained to never blow her cover.  What is she going to do now that she wasn't allowed to go around hunting and killing people?  The public kind of frowns on stuff like that, calling it stalking.  A guy was walking rather hurriedly and had a seabag.  Who the hell carries those anymore? Are those even allowed on the base she thought to herself?  She chuckled because no one was helping him.  He was lost and was carrying his weight in crap. She stood up and looked at him, she made eye contact with him, just as he dropped both seabags to the ground and riled up a mound of dirt that would warrant a shower.  

"Do you need some help?" She asked

He looked at her with a shit eating grin, "What do you think?" "I mean Im trying to be nice but yea I could use some help." Does no one help the newbies around here?

"Nah, they figure your gonna get shot before they even give you the grand tour and your housewarming party"

"Where you headed to?" She asked while grabbing one of the bags

"Holy shit this is heavy, what is in it, dead bodies?"

"Nah, he responded, my mom packed an extra lunch", "Just for you since you are the only one helping me"

"Gee thanks!"

"Seriously though, where they putting you?"

"Why didn't you grab the jeep?" Geez these are heavy"

I just want a bed, with a pillow, and maybe a shower, with hot water, but I dont even know anymore"

Okay lets get you settled, give me the paperwork they gave you at the gate"

She looked and figured out where he was gonna be.  He was with the strikers.  

Okay we only have a little bit of walking comeon."

He starts a conversation, or rather he tries to start a conversation

"Where are you from?"

"Around"

Ah"

"I'm from Missouri. Independence Missouri just outside of Kansas City."

"Great, then you will be no stranger to our afternoon thunder storms" 

"Ah, you know the area. Did you live there?"

"MM, yeah for about six months. I got to experience tornadoes, green skies and Electrical Storms, I loved it."

"Okay kiddo here you go.  Chow should be ready soon, you can get some dry goods when you eat.  Do not miss chow they aren't open 24/7 and will not save food for you. And always say thank you"  She added, "Unless you want them to spit in your food, just say thanks"

"Noted" he said.

I guess I will see you around."

"I guess you will" she laughed.  She liked his shyness right away.  She figured he wasn't experienced with women being a farm boy from Missouri.  She didn't know what he was, and didn't want to stick around to find out.

After the first day meeting, every day following had them together. She wasn't sure when it happened, they just became glued at the hip and did everything together.  We didn't encourage relationships or codependent friendships because the mortality rate for what they do was high, and no one wants to deal with that fallout.

They had taken a vacation at the same time and went camping in the mountains. They went fishing and rock climbing and did whatever they could outside before they were getting sent overseas.  They made sure every minute of the day wasn't wasted and that was what she loved about him.  They never talked about work, it just never came up.  We both knew what we did, we didn't need to fixate on it when there was an entire world to explore.  She loved spending time with James and could see him in her future.  They had talked about it, but he wants to have the entire "I love you" romance with the kids and flowers on holiday crap.  That's not her and they both knew it.

Now that it was their last interaction together at least for awhile, they were both quiet.  While they walked back to the barracks he asked if she was going to be okay money wise. She laughed and assured him that she would be okay. She had enough savings to live comfortably for two years. She would be okay.  She was known for saving money.  Everyone in the squad could attest to that.  She wasn't cheap, she always paid her share and then some when dining out together.  

At the same moment, she poured herself and James a scotch.  It was their thing.  They had many quirks and "things" He had almost talked her into reenlisting.  They would have taken her back in a heartbeat.  She thought about it long and hard.  She knew the daily routine, she knew these people would fight as hard as she did.  Every single person in her unit was a good person.  It was a group of 12 of them.  The 12 of them would be lifelong friends and had a tattoo that confirmed it.  

She gave James his drink and motioned for him to go outside with her. They both sat down, facing the shore, not talking.  The ocean was their theatre, each day another performance.  Mesmerizing and legendary.  They each sipped their scotch and just watched.

"What are you going to do without me James?"

"The same thing you will be doing without me."  He answered.

"Seriously though", he started, "I have so much more room now that your crap isn't under my bed or in my wardrobe.  I didn't realize how much stuff you had in there. So for today, I am just happy that I will have more room, in MY room."

"How about once I get settled in a place, doesn't have to be fancy, you come out and check the place out and take me out to dinner.", This cannot be their last conversation, she thought to herself.  They both spent enough time in the military to know how easy it was to let friends fall to the side while trying civilian life. People always say, hit me up", or "I will call/write you" and they never do.  It's rough in the civilian world. It takes some getting used to.  That's why the military tries to prepare you for your departure from the military.

Yet when they leave the military, it is a culture shock.  They tend to try to do their own thing, and not want to hang out with the boys.  They want to settle down and have a family.  Then you have the lifers and thats what James is.  He eats military for breakfast.  He will not leave the military until they kick him out.  He is only 29, he has another tour in him.  He talks of opening up a business when he gets out. Or going overseas and working with a few of the marks we met while there.  We knew the private side of what we did pays a hell of a lot more than what we were getting paid, the hazard pay that could buy a candy bar for all.  

It was time for the dart. James finished his scotch and stood up, he held out his hand for her to take and follow him inside.  They both were stalling but it needed to get done.  She frowned, took his hand, looked at him a little seductively, and laughed, she also stood up, grabbed her glass and followed him inside.  She grabbed the small black pouch, opened it and picked out a dart.  She felt the barrel to get the right weight and made sure that the point was sharp and the flight was perfect. She rolled the dart in between her fingers to get the right feel.  She walked over to the wall and stared at the huge map of the united states.  She wasn't sure of anything at this moment.  She didn't know where she wanted to go.  She didn't know what she wanted to do or who she wanted to be.  It was tough and this instant is crucial to the rest of her life.  Of course she didn't Have to do what the dart said.  She could tell James oh yeah, thats where im going and then go somewhere completely different.  

She stared at the dart. It was her dart.  Her lucky dart, who even has a lucky dart?  It was heavier than her others and there was a reason for it.  Kind of like a break stick.  The feeling of the dart between her fingers is what made it lucky. The dart was perfect and it was perfect for her throws.  She not once, not twice but for an entire game, threw the dart and the dart could do no wrong. She knew the feeling of the flight and body.  The way you twirled when she was holding it. 

She nervously laughed, twirled the dart between her fingers, playing with the weight, making sure she would throw it straight.  She wanted to take a practice shot, but knew better.  It had to be done the right way.  

James was watching her with a smile on his face.  He chuckled while saying the obvious, "Where are you gonna go, Maine?" He said,  "What are you going to do there? We haven't really any hard core office skills with being special forces.  Bodyguards and females of your size don't mix." He laughed.  She grinned at him, played with the dart in her fingers, twirling the body between her fingers, getting used to the weight.  "We shall see" She said. 

He grabbed her arm, "Hey, wait.. you need to be blindfolded Ma'am, I don't trust you."

"Okay then, get it done" she threw a bandana his way, She said "Tie this over my eyes."  She made sure that she could not see.  She told him, "Spin me around 3 times and then make sure I am facing the map and let me know when to throw".  "Yes Ma'am, Geesh bossy much?"  He obliged and tied the banana tightly around her head.  He then flipped her off and asked if she could see what he was doing.  After she responded with No, he put both his hands on her shoulders and turned her around, "Once, twice three times the lady," he sung.  He stopped for a moment, his voice softening, pulling her arm in and taking her in his arms, she put her head on his chest and just smelled his scent.  She was so safe there, why was she leaving. She didn't want to let go of this.  This right here, could she live like this happily while birthing the multitude of children he wants. She sighed cuz she already knew the answer.  Things would be so much easier if she lied to herself, she then stopped the mutual embrace and rolled her arm, as if to say lets get this going, but couldn't find the words to form around the knot in her throat.

He then made sure she was facing the map and said, "Go for it, make it a state we all can visit."  She laughed, twirled the dart between her fingers, playing with the weight, making sure she would throw it straight.  She put her left foot forward and threw the dart. Her follow through was tight, she was too worried about not hitting the wall. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until she heard the darts impact on the wall.

She loudly let her breathe out. She turned toward James' voice, and took off her bandana.  She was looking at his face and reaction because he wasn't saying much, but there was a smirk on his face.  "What? Did I land in Alaska?" she said, "What's with the face?" He wasn't saying anything but there was a smirk on his face.  She looked at him quizzically, "Come on, I am afraid to look, Is it a good state?" she asked.  He laughed and said, "It all depends, you could live here and never see snow, that would suck but you could buy a cheapo house, get a 9-5 job..." Hi voice trails off teasingly.  "Oh screw you James, what state is it?"  She threw her bandana at his head and slowly turned around.  She tried focusing on where she thought that the dart went but when she looked there, East Coast, there was no dart.  Okay West Coast, cool.  Nope no dart there. Oh god not the Midwest, as she glances at the Yellowstone region hoping to meet a handsome cowboy and have animals everywhere, running around, but no dart.  She blinked and out of the corner of her eye she saw it.  The dart, its flight, was sticking out.  Nevada.  That was the state that I picked.  Nevada.  Seriously, between the heat, all of the obese people eating as if it is a fad and the gambling addictions that could develop into, she wasn't really feeling Nevada.  With tears in her eyes, she said "Well I guess I am going to Vegas". "It is a great place stacks"  the housing market is off the chain, they are developing the strip, lots of real security jobs you could land.  Buy some property so cheap you could afford to get a cabin where you want to hang out on the weekends, ya know." You have to start looking at the positives."

"You're actually making a lot of sense right now, I just don't know if I can handle the heat.  However I would rather have the heat than tropic, humid, climate where the bugs are larger than my hand and faster than an F-16."

"Okay."

Wow, James I am actually going to do this." "I am fucking scared"

"That's okay to be scared, keeps you on your toes."  He went to pour himself another scotch.  He pointed to her glass but she shook her head and while smiling said, "Nah I want to be clear headed when I leave"  She was looking forward to this new beginning.

Okay" she said, nodding. "I will give it a year... or two and then throw another dart." She wanted around her dorm area and made sure she had everything.  "One more time, one last look.  Her truck was already packed and she already had a cooler full of snacks ready for the ride. 

"I'm keeping this scotch, we will finish the bottle next time we meet, clearing his throat, "It will happen, I promise." He smiled because if he opened his mouth he was going to cry like a baby.  She smiled back, with the same tears in her eyes.  She walked into his hug and said, "Okay James, time for me to go and live a life.  He fired off a bunch of questions, "You got any plans this weekend? How will you get a place? When are you leaving?" He fired these questions quickly and problem was, she didn't know the answer.  She sighed.  All valid questions but she didn't have a single answer.  "Now", she said, surprised it came out of her mouth quickly.  "I am going to leave now." 

She looked surprised she had just blurted it out as fast as he was asking her all the questions.  He was just as surprised as she, "Alrighty then, You take care, send me a letter and invite me if you ever have a spare room"  He hugged her and smacked her upside the head.  "Go on, get going to your new state, Nevada."  She assumed that was his new nickname for her.  Problem was, she will never hear it again.  She smiled and sent him a wave with a "Take care James, stay out of trouble. keep in touch blah blah" BYE!" She picked up her duffle, grabbed her keys and purse and walked down the stairs and out the door, letting it slam loudly behind her.  Remembering the sound as it slammed shut, that metal, hollow echo, forced to slam because of the tension.  You know that slam.

As if to tell her, this chapter of your life is SLAM, over.

Her military career was over.  She was a veteran for the most part, the military still owned a piece of her for two years, but that is in an inactive role.  She was off to see her new state.  Nevada.  Being in Virginia, this was going to be a beautiful drive.  She sat in her truck while she looked at the map to figure out how to get on 70.  She mapped out the route and started the truck,  The cool air of the A/C blasted and her hair went everywhere.  She took a rubber band and fixed her hair, tucked it under a ballcap, put the truck in gear and headed off.  She got on 95, and started driving. She wanted to at least get through Kentucky before the night ended.

CHAPTER TWO

She chose to drive I70 to I15, she didn't want to drive through Texas so I40 and I10 for that matter were out. 

 

 She noticed that there was a gold ring, a horseshoe ring on his finger.  She thought of taking the ring.  There was a reason it was left on, and she was not going to test the trust she had been given byu stealing a ring when she could buy ten of them with the money she will make from doing this job.