1/04/2010

Back to my semi crazied world!

Well, the tree is gone, and all of the decorations are packed away but I am sure in a week I will find that one lone Christmas item that did not get packed with the rest of the stuff. I have a broken coffee machine, which had come back to life once so I am hoping that it resurrects itself again and sooner rather than later, the coffee at work has mush to be desired.
Anyways – New Years was a blast like it always is. I heard too much of the “this next year is going to be so much better”

I also read from people that this next year everything is going to be perfect and how things are going to change and they are going to be happier, healthier and holier than ever.
But why? At midnight is there some secret button that is going to be pushed that will turn your sad, depressed self into a winner? Is that same secret button going to help you find a job or find a man? Nope.

I think to myself, why wasn't this past year what they wanted it to be? I mean, some things are out of our control, but much of our own happiness and self worth come from who we are and how we act. Of course if you are going to be sad, and depressed it is going to be a crappy year and you can't wait for the next year to come, but usually the “lather, rinse, repeat” goes into effect. I can admit, I try new things, diets, lifestyles, promises to myself and most of them go on the back burner. I have no one to blame but myself. I cannot blame work, finances or other. If I wanted it bad enough I would have done it
I had one hell of a year, and it was filled with so much anguish and sadness I can admit. There were also awesome and happy times. I was so happy at the end of 2010 that I could literally scream and I am sure this is going to be one heck of a roller coaster ride. I am looking forward to everyday, learning something new and rejoicing that I have the strength and power to preserver.

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