A Million Different Directions

That is how I fell as of lately and I have so much to blog about that I have no idea what to blog about first. I still have pictures of the three day that I have not posted yet! So I am going to work backwards, starting with last night's holy cow moment. Okay that is over with. No need to share that with the entire world.

Sunday - watched football and I had to root for the Saints cuz well, cuz of that kid named Drew Brees, you know how it is.. a QB plays on your team for a season or two and you fall in love.. well, that’s all folks. Oh yea and I stayed out too late!!

SATURDAY - Notice the caps. All I can say about that is, "Thank god I am the Master of my own bladder". I could go into details of the day and I wind up having to cough because I am laughing so hard then I have to rush to the bathroom and ensure that I am still the Master. Go get a cup of coffee and sit down and read about Saturday = a brush with uncontrollable bladders.

The big B took me to meet Lisa, an avid and dysfunctional photographer like myself, in Crystal City. We had been planning a photo day for about a month now and we were excited because the weather had cooperated with us and there was no sign of the rain that hit us the night before.
So we planned on meeting and then heading over to the airport to get like the perfect shot that real photographers will sit out there all day for, we were planning on getting that same shot in ten minutes. We found a spot, and started taking pictures, but as Lisa said, there was too much sun. My trip there was a epic fail as hers was not as epic, she got a few good shots, which was good. I have some good shots of the seagulls if anyone is interested.
While driving from the airport back to the parking lot to park, we didn’t talk much. You might think that is was because we were reflecting on the pictures that we took and how we could edit them to be better and frame worthy. In reality, I could not talk simply because I WAS NOT BREATHING do to being scared sh*tless. Lisa has a flair for darting in and out of traffic with no warning, no warning to me or to the other drivers on the road. I was not breathing because I thought that if I breathed I would off balance the car in the shift of weight. I don't think that she realized that there was more weight in the car that day since I was in there. I was holding on to the car door arm rest for dear life and I think that if I clean out my nails really good I would find particles of her door arm in my nail. Lisa thought that it was the funniest thing, and to be honest, I swore never to dog out Big B's driving again, her antics were that bad LOL.

Then we park the car and start walking to the Crystal City metro which was farther than I thought it was going to be. We planned on hitting the zoo and then a few places in DC. I had a lot to carry and she had her camera, bag, and the "Dysfunctional Tripod". We bought our Metro tickets and then went to try to find the correct way to travel on the Metro. We arrived to the zoo, and walked uphill a ways until we got there, and went in the direction of the Panda's. We saw Panda's, orangutans, cheetah’s and various small mammals, and the reptiles. That was fun, my back was hurting and I paid 3 bucks for a coke using my credit card at a coke machine. We were yelling at people who were banging on the glass, who were standing in our way and who were wearing really bad hats that were getting into our pictures. We didn't bother going anywhere else in the zoo, since we still had a full plate, and the smell of the monkeys sent us off on a search for Slim Jims.

Back on the Metro, after seeing young teens trying to sell us krispy kreme donuts for a dollar to support Haiti. We got off at the Capital and made our way to the Botanical Gardens. I wanted to get some pictures of the flowers and I was worried that it was going to be another epic fail, but it turned out to be great, except for the humidity in the place, I thought I was going to DIE, or have a heat stroke. I asked where the bathroom was but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get my pants back on unless I rolled them up, so I decided to wait. These pictures are some of the best and thank god I was reading the signs to get to the gardens, because if it was left up to Lisa we would have just been walking straight.

Then we walked almost all of the way to the Washington Memorial, I stopped dead in my tracks and said that I am done walking, and just by chance Lisa looked and saw the metro. Thank God for all day passes.

Got on the metro went back to the car, found a bathroom, went to Chili's, proceeded to order everything on the menu, yet didn't eat all of it since I porked out on chips and salsa. After that we decided the game plan for the night pictures.

We got in the car.. and drove on the GW parkway, we passed the picture taking event... then it seemed to have taken 2 miles until the park where we parked at. I guess in reality we were supposed to be able to see where we were once we got out of the car. I could not. I noticed that the outhouse's door was open and told Lisa to remember that, cuz if it is closed when we come back I am NOT walking any further. So then we both unpack our tripods, Lisa was already on full mode so she only had to make sure she could swing the thing without losing her footing. So we both start walking armed and dangerous. The path we are walking on is dark, and the trees were making it eerie there. I had to keep talking or I was going to start believing the things that were going through my head. We had to stop because we came to a fork in the road, we looked and thought to ourselves, which one will we be better seen by the people driving by if we are attacked and sold for local kibble. We took the high road, which was good, except that Lisa thought one of the buses were going to behead her by hitting the tripod which was on her shoulder, thus knocking her head off. We then realize that we are no longer on GW parkway and are on our way to the Kennedy Center. So then we basically turned around thinking *Operation Aborted*. While we are walking back talking about how we could just park on the parkway, run out of the car set up the tripods and take a million pictures real quick, when all of a sudden two masked men jump into the walk way from the lower walkway. I grab Lisa and throw her in front of me in hopes that she can protect me since she knows I got her back. No really though I did grab her arm, and she was trying to pace us as her grip on her tripod was tighter and her other hand on her phone and keys. Well, we got closer and when the 2 dudes realized that we were following them they turned around and started walking towards us. Thank gosh they kept walking. I think that they knew that we would not bring them any money on the black market and plus dead weight weighs a lot more than we do now. We got to the car I wouldn't get in till Lisa got in, Lisa was trying to through her tripod of horrors in the back seat and I just wanted to get out of the place. We were both waiting for the two men who were quite larger than us, but that was from Lisa's point of view, I think she is 5'2". When we were safe, I could tell that I was ready to pound my tripod into that man’s head, but then I got to thinking and thought that we would have both had to hit then hard at the same time, and knock them both out to where we would have enough time to run, cuz ya know we don’t run too fast without tripping. Like the scary movies say, do not go on GW parkway at night, man!

Whew done... so once our adrenalin stop flowing we started driving around looking for a place to take night pictures. We were over by Arlington Cemetery, and decided to park on the side, get out and start taking pictures. I set up my tripod, and Lisa is starting to realize why she wants a new tripod. The three legs would take on a life all on their own. I wondered for awhile why there was not a level on the pod, but then I figured that Lisa knew what straight was.

To be continued tomorrow after work.

1 comment:

  1. 1. My driving is NOT that bad.
    2. I swear, it was up hill, both ways, at the zoo!
    3. 5'2" and one half I'll have you know.
    4. They were bigger than you and I and that made them HUGE in the dark with no other living soul around.