4/30/2010

So...


A few people have asked about the funny parts of my surgery, since I always try to find a few.


So here goes.





Wednesday we had to be at the hospital at 530 in the morning. Yes in the morning people... you all were still sleeping while I was wondering if I should go to the bathroom now or later...

That meant getting up at 430, and that makes for a grumpy jessica, especially since I did not get to have my coffee.





We get to the place, and I am outside while Brian is parking the car and the doors are locked. I see a lady in the office, but I am not sure if I am at the right place. So then I see a light around the building and start walking to it... and of course it is nothing, and then I start freaking out because it is still very dark and spooky at 515 in the morning. I go back to the doors that still wont open and just stand there like an idiot till she turns around and looks in my direction. She lets me in, and starts complaining that the cleaning crew is waxing the floors and that they should not be in there, and all I am thinking of it, how professional is this? Will they slip while poking me in the stomach? Will the nurse play slip and slide while wheeling me out to post-op?



Then the insurance people call me in to make sure that they will get paid and ask me all of these questions and fill out forms and sign more forms that when I did when we bought the house.





Then I go wait again, and then this small foriegn lady comes and gets me. She was hilarious. She took me to my bed in the recovery room. She looks at me and then looks at the gown through the bag.. and says i be right back. I get you better gown. I am sure she said Bigger, but we are going to go with Better.. okay? So then she tells me to take everything off, and put the gown and socks on. Wow talk about feeling exposed. Then she made me sit in the bed all relaxed and comfy, she goes to get me a blanket and she says oh these are too cold, I get you a warm one. I yell STOP.. cold blanket fine, I am too hot. I am starting to adopted her language. so then I have a 'cold' blanket but all of us know how hot I get so it was not cold for long.



She then did the IV in the hand... omg I couldn't look there was pain, and I think that my head turned around a few times. People kept coming over to ask me questions and none of the nurses or doctors were as cute as they were on the television. I was going to ask but I am sure that they were still in bed since they needed their beauty sleep.

So then the anestegiolgist comes over and tells me how he is going to put me in never never land, and i can hardly wait but details people details... to make sure that they have the perfect concoction for me. Then they shoot some stuff in my IV and I felt a little woozy for a minute then I was gone. I sure hope that I did not snore. I worried about snoring for about a week before the surgery. Oh and I forgot to tell you, the night before we just had to go to chili's for dinner, and that morning I think I had bowel cramps but wasn't sure and did not want to go in the bathroom that they had there so then I was wondering if I was able to hold it until after the surgery. After that shot of whatever they gave me, I didnt care LOL

I did when I woke up though, and my throat was so sore, I could not swallow, and I wanted water right now... ice cold water... and I had an oxygen mask over my mouth.

As soon as I woke up I immediately thought, did I poo in there and who could I ask if I was snoring....

they took me to a different area since the regular rooms were booked, so I just had a hysterectomy, and they put me with the babies and their mommies. I didn't mind though, I love the smell of babies and as long as my boobs didnt start lactating when they cried I was happy.



I have more to tell but I think it is bedtime.

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