5/27/2010

First Dates

One day a long time ago...

I sat in front of my computer, late at night wondering what I was getting myself into.

I wrote all of the mini details that they asked for. Still not believing that I was going to follow through with this.

My mother thought it was a bad idea, but I told her that it was just like meeting a blind date in a bar. Although, right before I clicked on the submit button I glanced over the information I gave; name, of course I gave my own. Weight, I was in a good frame of mind and my weight was perfect. I was running 5 miles a day and also going to the gym at night. I am sure that the firehouse that was right next door, the same one I would run past every day had something to do with my total commitment to exercise. Height was a normal 5 feet 8 inches.

Interests; were of course the normal interest for a 29 year old.. outdoor activities, drinking, reading, things of that nature. I didn't really embellish anything since I really didn't need to lie about things and no one needed to know any more about my private life until I thought that they were ready.

I then had to write down what I wanted out of a relationship/man. That took the hardest to figure out since I had no idea what I wanted. A few years back I was married and since the divorce I didn't date nor engage in sexual relations (do they even use that word anymore?) I mean after Clinton, I think that phrase was outlawed. I wrote down that I wanted an honest relationship with fun and good times ahead. I was so naive.

After I hit the submit button, I started looking at some of the other women on the site, and what they had written down for their preferences. Hah I thought, no one is going to make a big deal. I already learned some of the ropes by hanging out in chat rooms and realizing what men in the rooms at 2 am were looking for and I really wasn't the one to give it to them. That is for another story.


I went about my busy life in the meantime since I was working full time, going to school full time and had a son. Yea would have thought I had no time for dating, but of course I found the time, I just didn't sleep. I worked at a great school downtown and I went to 2 colleges in the area. I was very busy, and without a cell phone or a laptop as many people have it today. It's funny because it was not that long ago when all of this started happening to me. After a few days, I checked my email and there were a few responses in my inbox. I would read each one carefully, getting rid of the ones who did not work, did not have a car, were younger than I was and who had no goals in life. After one or two emails the weeding out went very smoothly. Smoothly in the fact I just would not email them back… ever.

I would keep a scratch pad by the computer where I would keep their user names and emails along with the reason why I decided to break contact with that person. I found out quickly that people would change their names and then try all over again. Ok, seriously people who has time for all of this? There were a few whom I enjoyed talking to and would converse with them many times via email. I then decided that I wanted to talk to them on the phone. So let's talk about Steve ( I am protecting their names). Steve sounds very nice on the phone, had dogs and we had the same interests.


Finally after talking on the phone for about a week we decided to meet. He wanted to pick me up and that was good so I could leave the car license plate with a friend in case my body was found in some canyon in teeny tiny pieces. That evening we were going to go for Mexican food and then go see a movie if things work out. While I was waiting for the elite stranger, I ran out to take out the trash, so I didn't have to do it when I came home late at night, after the perfect date. I was walking down the hall and smelled someone in the hall way and it was not a good smell, I figured they had just finished running or going to the gym, so I thought nothing of it and threw the garbage away and went back upstairs, still smelling that pungent odor.

That is what I saw HIM. Now I know what you are thinking, it was love at first sight and I fell head over heels in love with him. NO, that wasn't the case. This was the guy that I smelled. He seemed harmless and I had no idea why I just didn't ignore him and just keep on walking up the stairs. Oh but nooo, miss Jess had to be nice and ask the dude how he was and if he was looking for someone. Of course he was looking for me. I told him I would be back downstairs in a minute. Now, I was thinking the entire time that I needed to get rid of this dude. I wasn't scared of him but oh my god he smelled really bad. I thought to myself that I could never go back downstairs and he would just go away. Hopefully he wouldn't ask anyone else where I lived or things of that nature. I couldn't do that to another person, and plus Mexican food was at stake. I was looking good, so people would wonder why, I just made sure I put on more perfume, hoping it would cling to him a bit, but then that would require me to get close to him. I grabbed my bag and we then proceeded on our stink date as I refer to it.

Now, we all know that there are certain people that you will never forget and he was one of them. We drove to old town, which was like 5 minutes away from my house. We make small talk, I try to talk as much as holding my breath would allow. We get to the restaurant and sit across from each other, and I look at him, he smiles, and I see a tooth is missing, right on the front. OMG A tooth is not there, we are not living in West Virginia here.

He has a missing tooth.

So what the hell do I do? Well stop looking at it for one. Secondly, don't make it look like I totally am freaking out over this.

Okay so I look down at the menu… would it be rude if I walked to the bathroom, sneak out the back way and run to the buses across the street and demand a ride home? Well, of course it would be but what other option was there. At least I knew that there would be no sexual reations with this guy. Whew!

I then looked at the menu and saw what I was giving up, carne asada, beans, rice, all sorts of delectables. We did have a lot in common, so I went ahead and ordered dinner, and made sure that we went dutch so there was nothing owed to anyone. The dinner was delicious. I found out that he worked at a university in the physics department and he just came from some outdoor ocean thing, whatever that means and no the entire conversation was not that vague.

Then after dinner, we decided on a movie. Yes, it was a 'we' decision'. i wanted to watch a movie in the theatre without little children bouncing around and to be able to watch a good movie, I would have given blood for that one!

God only knows how I managed sitting next to him in a movie theatre, but the movie was excellent and was exciting from the beginning so there was no reason for small talk. We saw the Sixth Sense. Then afterward he took me home, called me when he got home and we never met again. How painful was that??

One of the most talked about movies of all time and I had to relive the entire evening when I would talk to people about the movie. Everyone would want to know why I went alone, then when I told them that I went with someone, a man, then they wanted to know more details and how can I lie about this man that I met, that had the most deep handsome voice on the phone and a nice picture, and not laugh my ass off hysterically? So of course I told them, not to have a pity party for me, although that would have been nice, but so that they could share in the sorrow that I faced that night.



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