6/01/2010

And it continues

Yes, I know I have kept you all hanging. I am sure you all have more important things to do that to sit here and wait for the next installment. I have to work on this entry a bit, since it seems to go in a few different directions..
So back to the online dating thing. I changed my profile a bit, and even though it sounded a bit harsh I thought it would attract a few of the desirables that I was looking for.
Please do not smell for a date, first impressions are lasting, I wrote without hesitation. I also wrote, please have a job, and understand that I am not going to need your undivided attention 24/7 since of course I am thin, happy and almost 30!!!

I then started looking at profiles myself and answering men that I thought would look good next to me. All of them asked for a picture and since I did not have one online, I had to take a million pictures with a throw away camera, find one that was good. Go to my local Kinko’s to scan it to a disk, and then take it home and figure out how to load it on the computer. This was very time consuming, almost like my full time job.
As for the job, it was going well. I had a system in place since I got home at 230 I would nap for a few hours, go pick up my son, then I could stay up till ungodly hours of the night trolling around for dates on the internet. You might think that I am joking, hell no, I was addicted LOL. When I would go to school, on those nights when I had a break I was in the library scouting my email on their computers. I would then go home around 11 at night, and stay up till 2 doing homework and studying. Surprisingly my GPA did not suffer and I was becoming more outgoing at school also. I felt a bit weird since I was one of the oldest in most of my classes but after starting to get out and roam the men, I was coming out of my shell.
I met a few men from online that were not as memorable. One guy was just into talk talk talking all about himself. He seemed kind of goodie two shoes, which was fine. But then we would talk about past boyfriends/girlfriends and he was shocked about some of my past. So I guess that was where that ended. But it was funny because he still continued to talk to me and talk and talk. One, I think he was lonely and two I think he was a gossip queen LOL he would find me wherever I was at, this was during the time chat rooms were all the rage and then he would like start talking to me. Back then AOL didn’t have the go invisible feature and then when it did, there was still a way to find out if they were online, since the invisible feature didn’t work on emails. It would show the status when they would open it.
Anyways, I was turning 30 that week and I wanted to have a great 30th. I planned on having a great time for weeks to come. I wanted to make up for all of the birthday celebrations that I did not have growing up or with my first husband. People wonder why I make such a big deal about birthdays. This is why, I never had a party in my honor ever in my life. I didn’t want a party now, but I wanted to make sure everyone I knew, knew I was turning 30 LOL.
I met this guy, Tony from Chicago. I also had a friend who lived in Chicago at the time. We talked forever on the phone, and through emails and regular mail also. He was divorced, had a daughter and we had many of the same interests. We must have talked for 6 months before planning this meet and greet. I was planning to fly to Chicago and stay with my girlfriend for a few days, then meet up with Tony. I really did enjoy spending time with him, but I also knew that there was no way in hell I was moving to Chicago. Plus I still wanted my freedom and of course I was having a blast.
I told myself I was never going to get married again, it just took too much of your soul. I could find myself seeing that soul sucking energy from certain guys I would date. One of them, his name was Bruce, was a total soul sucker and he was quick too. Our sons had the same birthday so we had that in common and so we took them to Julian one day and he bought me an ice cream cone and didn’t get nothing for the kids. I am like wait a cotton picking minute. When we would date before it was always us two, so I never saw that side of him. He had a nice job and an awesome truck. Everything was great except for the kissing. OMG when you would kiss this man, he would slobber so much you would have to hug him so you could wipe of your mouth, I usually used his shoulder to wipe, and my lips were always chapped. I never even tried home base with him. THANK GOD!! He was always telling me that he would date these women who wanted a man that would beat them up and blah blah, strange that I am remembering this now, it is was like he was saying that to get a reaction out of me. I really liked him but when I noticed him getting too close and being too bossy it was time to cut the boyfriend strings. I told him I was really under pressure with school and that I found I didn’t have time for dating. He would contact me every few months to see how things were going. Same story went back to him and I think finally he got the hint.
Anyways, back to Tony. So I fly to Chicago, meet my girlfriend go back to her house, hang out, met her cousins who were nice and very cute. We have a blast while I was there, then Tony came and got me and something strange, we got a hotel room. I called my friend to let her know where I was and stuff. Tony said he would have gotten two hotel rooms if I wanted to so I felt fine with being with him. Bad thing was, something was telling me this wasn’t right. So we talked way into the morning hours, and did a few things you only do in Chicago. We had a wonderful time despite the underlying feeling I had about him. It wasn’t a flight or fight feeling, or a feeling of being cut into a million pieces. It was just something tugging underneath my skin. We would talk all of the time and the questions and answers phase of our discussions always went well. I didn’t think he was hiding anything from me, so I dropped the feeling and we finished out the weekend at Midway airport waiting for my flight to take off. We stayed in touch for days afterwards, which turned into weeks. Then I got a phone call at work, from a lady, telling me he was married. We had a long discussion after that and I went on my way, alone of course. It must have been that feeling I had, since I didn’t even try to contact him to find out what was going on. I had no hard feelings or crying boo hoo moments.
After all of these dates, I became very cautious at least. I didn’t become depressed, I just dug deeper as to why men are such assholes. I concentrated in school for the most part, and dated some really funny guys. One of them, who had been trying to get me to go out with him forever, finally succeeded. He was younger than I was and he took me to Dicks last resort for oysters and brought me a few gifts for my birthday, belated at this point. It was a poster of him cycling, and a coffee cup LOL. We had a blast together, more like friends than anything else. He invited me to his house for a tennis match. He killed me, but we had a blast. I think I scared the hell out of him that night, but needless to say he took it all in stride and we remained friends talking almost every day for years.
So anyways, I put off the whole dating thing for awhile. I continued to read profiles and one day a profile grabbed my attention…

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