B is for Bug

What is it with the bugs around here lately? I just found out that these bugs were stink bugs and that if you smooch them, they relish an odor that brings more bugs to your doors. I had to read about this because I do not squish bugs. I would like to think that I pick them up gingerly so that I cannot feel them moving around in the tissue and deposit them in the toilet where they are forever banished to the porcelain god. I do not squish them because I do not want to hear the crunch that is associated with the squish and I, under no uncertain terms, want anything oozing or popping onto my skin.

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

I have a dog and a cat, the dog used to chase crickets that were in the basement and pull off each one of their legs, cast them all over the carpets and then we would never see the body. It makes you wonder if the legs have a really bad taste to them, since the only thing my dog will not eat is lettuce and pretzels. She used to eat pretzels, but now that I don’t cover them in cheese or ranch dressing she thinks that I am mean and horrible person. The cat will chase the bugs, sleeping all day in anticipation of the nights events. I fear to sleep down in the basement anymore, because of the cat and his pouncing. I always fear of one morning waking up and finding a dead cricket or two next to me on my pillow. Calvin brought a dead cricket to Daisy and it is still laying beside her bed, simply because I do not believe it is dead.