Sometimes things are better on paper

I once wrote a paper for some class in high school. The class was one of those civic duty classes where we had to volunteer and figure out what type of impact we were going to have on the world, when we grew up.

We had to do 3 things out of 20 to get an A in the class. I of course waited till the last minute to do my last assignment.

I decided to write a letter of my life to my teacher.
I was blunt, honest and did not leave anything out.
I might have been high when I wrote it, because I wasn’t able to read it when I got it back from the teacher, and I blocked that time out of my life. I even threw out the paper, thinking that my mother would find it and seriously the punishment was not worth it. She hid behind the rafters of her bottles of alcohol and pretended nothing happened.

I was embarrassed by the truths in the paper
and
I was embarrassed at how these truths affected me, and the people around me. Specifically the friends I had who tried to support me, but never knew which way I was going and eventually gave up.
These friends, even though they are not my friends now, taught me how to be a loyal friend to a degree, and also how to know when no matter what you do, you cannot help your friend anymore.
That my friends is another post.

Anyways,

This paper was the one chance I could tell one person the truth and not have them be scared of me or judge me.
This paper made me stronger I think, for I never felt fear again and made some life choices, some for the good, and some choices were the worst choice I ever made.

I have grown from the choices and mistakes that I made, and wish I could go back and apologize for everyone I have hurt or pissed off.

I hope that EVERY child, kid, teen has a teacher that they can share fears and tribulations of their life.