A Trip Down Memory Lane

This is one of the better memories, filled with a lot of laughs, martinis, and ass.

Proceed with caution.

Brian and I had only been dating a few months, so this was our first overnight, weekend get away to a new place.  I was excited about going to Vegas with him, but not as excited when I found out that the crew was also going.  Each weekend the crew changes, so this weekend it was Mark, Steve and Tom.  I have changed the names to protect the innocent, or in this case, the extremely guilty.

While living in San Diego, the drive to Vegas on a Friday afternoon usually ranged between 4-6 hours.  With Brian and the cohorts driving, this was shortened to 4 hours and 15 minutes.  The drive was scary at times, I am not going to lie, I had to stop watching the cars in front of us, or I was going to give Brian a coronary. Every time I sucked in my breath, Brian would think he was about to run over a squirrel and almost swerve at nothing.  This made trying to be the fastest white boy on the road extremely difficult. He finally told me to put my head in a book and stop looking at the road.  This continues through our 15 years of being together. During all of the drama, Brian was trying to relive his youth by keeping up with the younger guys, in their sportier cars, he would be whizzing in and out of traffic and driving that purple Acura.  Don't get me wrong, this car was my favorite and I loved the way it handled, however, Brian wasn't not the best driver in the world.  Hence why, for the remainder of our marriage I read a book.

While driving, as boys do, when one car would pass the other, obscene gestures would be made back and forth as well as some sexual acts recreated in their cars.  Let me say now, I was the only female in the group and we often wondered if Tony and Marc were a couple.  I just went with the, "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. Brian tried with all of him might to get me to play along, but with his track record of accidents while horny, I was not going to pursue it.  I promised him a good treat to get us to the hotel parking lot in one piece and our car able to drive home.

We were going to Vegas for a golf tournament.  Brian's friend and co-worker was from Vegas, so he knew about the golf tournament from his local bar.  It was a bar that always had a support the troops golf tournament and all the guys would go for the weekend.  I felt honored to be included, with the gang.  I know Brian just wanted me along because the relationship was still new and the sex was still frequent and good. Especially the after golf sex, so great that we had to name it.
We got into Vegas around 6pm, and after we spend an hour in line, checking into our hotel room, we found our rooms and freshened up.  For Brian and I that meant I had to give him his treat, and since then, whenever we go on a trip, as soon as we get wherever we are going, we have to break in the weekend with sex.  Whether it was camping, on a cruise, or Vegas trips there was always, "Welcome to Your Destination Sex"

Once everyone was ready, we headed to Spanky's to check in for the tournament the next morning and have dinner. The place was great and it was packed with a lot of military and families. Regulars were buying beers for all of the military, the guys enjoyed every moment of it.  I never realize that Vegas does have normal stuff that doesn't require slot machines.  Although in the back room, you could find Keno and slots.  It was the first place that I learned how to play Keno.  I think I won a few bucks, but didn't really get into it, since I was still the slot machine girl. The beer was ice cold and the steak was amazing.  Since Mike was from there he really wasn't into the casino's and the Vegas Strip, so he went home and we proceeded to party like rockstars.  The five of us piled into Brian's car and went back to park at the hotel.  We stayed in the old part of Vegas at the Main Street Casino.  It had a great vibe, but at night, the streets surrounding the hotel were scary, of course Brian wanted to park there, until we discovered that we were behind the casino.  I thought for a moment that we were going to die.  Brian wasn't allowed to drive anymore.

We all went walking to Fremont street, and hit a strip club. I went along with it, wasn't worried about the scene.  I mean come on.  I have been to strip clubs in Mexico, where there was a back room, a donkey and women who could make changes come out of the weirdest places of their body.  I douby Sigmund and Roy taught them that trick.  These strip clubs were child's play compared to what I have experienced.  A few minutes after we were there and realized that on top of the cover charge we HAD to buy two drinks, Mark gave me a bunch of dollar bills and basically wanted me to hook him up with the stripper that was dressed as a school girl.  I tried to tell him that most people dressed like this, are school girls and it will get you automatic jail time.  He didn't care, in fact his words were, I would bend over to pick up soap if I could have one night with the school girl, costume and all.  So I took his dollar bills, which I laughed at, to the school girl and started talking to her, but realized time is money and with the dollar bills that Mark gave up, it wasn't adding to much.  I took the bills and placed them in all sorts of provocative places, walked back to the table and told Mark that her name or any thing else was gonna cost him.  He told me that he didn't care what her name was, he would make one up for her, he wanted to get a lap dance.  Found out the going rate was fifty bucks.  Now, I was surprised at all of this because, one - I thought he was gay, and two - he is the cheapest guy ever and will go to great lengths to save money.  A quick back story to prove this.  When he would come into town from being overseas, he would announce it all over facebook to "meet up" with friends and plan this huge bar crawl.  I finally figured out why he did this.  If he was in town for a week, he would have a dinner date every single night and not have to pay, since he was the out of towner, and that's just the way it worked back then.  As well as the bar crawl, he would just latch on to whichever was labeled moneybags that night and never let go.  He had the system planned down to the night he left, by getting a ride to the airport.  So, when he forked over two 50's for a lap dance and possibly more, I had to follow him just to ensure he didn't try to rip her off.  Once I knew that school girl got her money, I felt that I could leave the two alone and go back to my own man.  We were having a blast but wanted to get out of the club.  We left the guys there and went back to the Casino.

Once we got to this Casino that had a bowling alley in it, we found this Martini bar and thought what the hell, everyone loves a good martini.  I then asked Brian, have you ever had a martini?  Oh yeah, all of the time. Cosmo's are the best.  I am then looking at Brian like I did when I found out he liked pink wine.  God help me.
We then grabbed a table next to the piano bar, Brian had a cigar and I could sneak a cigarette.  We looked over the martini menu and realized that the drinks were ten bucks each.  There was only martinis. There was no ordering a beer, or a different vodka drink.  It was like trying to order water at Coyote Ugly.  Just wasn't done and you just have to deal with it.  So deal with it is what we did.  As for the price, we each had to calm down the other, I said, "You see how small those martini glasses are?  He responded, "Screw it, we are on vacation", and proceeded to order two barbed wire martinis.  Oh My God, I never thought that alcohol could taste so bad.  We drank it.  We drank the next one and the next one, with names like, 'fire on a tin roof" and "Gasoline Fuel Booster".  That one tasted like I was breathing fire.  I think, if we poured it into the car, it would have run no problem.  That drink would have cleaned out the carbuerator even.  Before we even started at the Martini Ranch, we already had a pretty good buzz going, especially since we started drinking as soon as we hit the state line.  At least I had, and Brian caught up pretty fast once we hit the city limits. So after a few more, including one that I dumped into the fake tree that was next to my chair, we decided to go walk around. Brian needed the fresh air since he had that, "I'm going to hurl on the bathroom walls soon", a story that I will tell at another time. We started running into the boys and heard their stories. For some reason, Tom had Brian's cell phone number written on his ass with a permanent marker. He had some girl write the number on his ass, so that in case he got drunk and forgot where he was, he knew he had a phone number on his ass.  I asked the simple question here, of how he would be able to read that number that was on his ass.  So then, he drops his drawers and asked me to read the number.  I will never ask him another question again.  He then went along his way.

Later on that night, Brian's cell phone constantly was ringing. Come to find out it was Tom, in the parking lot of a casino looking for an unlocked car to sleep in.  He was falling down in between cars to take naps. Finally he was able to get a hold of Brian and he slept in our room that night, there was a story there, but I didn't want to listen or probe for details at 4:00am. I was not happy, but I also didn't want this dude arrested for breaking into cars.  Thank God some poor soul or two, read his ass for him.  I wonder if there is someone in the United States or Asia for that matter, talking about how they ran into some drunk guy (Always the opener of a classic story in Vegas) asked him/her/it, to read the phone number off of his ass so he could find his room.

The next morning Brian looked like ass and the boys room down the hall also smelled like ass.  Full on sweaty fat man, who just had sex and ass smell coming from the room.  Brian didn't believe me so he had to go down as well.  With his hangover and that smell, he came back to the room seriously green in the gills.
After morning showers, not together, and breakfast we all made it to the golf course.  At 7 am it was already one hundred and hot balls degrees outside.  I knew that it was going to be a long, hot day.  Not in the sexy way either.  The hot will be dry, like that matters, hot is hot dammit.  So, me, being the smart one of the group, got 2 screwdrivers, one of them I asked for a double for the pussy.  I made him drink it and you could finally see life returning to the poor bastard.  I proceeding to do the same for the boys and they all started to get back to their normal selves and I could start harassing them for their hotel room smelling like ass, and how the poor maid is going to die.  I promised the boys that the maid isn't going to steal anything they accidentally left out, since the cesspool of smells will tell the maid that everything in that room will be covered with ass stench.  They thought I was joking, when we got back to the room, none of their stuff was picked up from the floor.  It was like the only things that the maids did was the bare minimum, which was fine, since they were staying in the same room that night as well.   I also told them that there was no way in hell, that they would find a tourist or one night stand that they didn't have to pay for, that would go into their room.  I gave them a speech, saying that there was no way in hell that any women that they meet tonight were going to volunteer to stay in the boys hotel room.  That it would be a first, to where the typical clingy woman wasn't even going to attempt to become a clingy one night stand.  That the woman was going to be the one to go for cigarettes at the corner store to never return. They may even be afraid to handle cash, and will be wearing gloves the entire time.  Could you imagine them enjoying a blow job from a woman wearing gloves on their hands and how the skin and the hairs are going to get stuck in the latex of the gloves to where it was going to hurt like a bitch.

The golf tournament went well, the boys played well and Brian was on fire. It was because he was hung over, and getting drunk at the same time. Since that weekend, he has always played better when hungover.

We didn't win anything but the entire weekend was a win.  After the 4th hole of the course, I was getting hot and the atmosphere and trees weren't cutting it for me. I told the boys that I had to go to the bathroom, and the next time I saw them was at the 18th hole.  Every year we played at that tournament, the same thing would happen.  After the 4th hole I would excuse myself to go to the bathroom.  Never to return.  I learned the bartenders name, who was pregnant the first year I went.  The second year, I felt so proud of myself that I remembered her and asked about the baby.  All was good. Considering I was only there once a year, I was considered a regular.  Manners go so far!

The second night, it was just Brian and I, while the boys, who, thought that they were going to get lucky, hit to strip.  Brian and I drove around so I could see all of the lights and the new hotels on the strip.  The last time that I was in Vegas was 1998 for New Years eve.  I took my mother and we flew.  Things change so fast on the strip and of course, going with my mother, there was no romance in the trip.  This was Brian and I's first away from San Diego, overnight trip and I wanted to make the most of it.

He had been hitting Vegas a lot since every time his relatives came into town, that was one of the first places that they wanted to go to.  So he knew where everything was.  It was just nice looking at the town in fresh eyes, and I knew he got a blast out of watching me in awe of everything.  He made it so much fun.  We stopped at one hotel, The Rio and walked around.  He wanted me to play Roulette.  I was always telling his mother that gambling was a waste of money and you were never going to win blah blah.  Brian knew though that money was tight for me and I was going to school full time with 18 units, and working full time so I was very busy and had very little time to party as well as the money was tight.  I was paying the rent for me, Bryant (my son) and my mother.  She was working but I wanted to live by the beach in Ocean Beach, so in order to do so I couldn't have a car or insurance and I used my GI bill, financial aid and work money for the rent.  It worked out really well.  The bus would pick me up in the front of my apartments and take me right to work, so I really didn't need a car at the time.  I didn't have a boyfriend either, so there was no need to booty calls at night.  Since I met Brian all of that changed, I couldn't really sneak over to his house on public transportation and be there in 30 minutes.  The booty calls were few and far between until we figured out a solution. So in order to be able to see him all night and hang out, I had to provide the goods, so to speak.

The nighttime lights were amazing and I felt like I was falling in love with Brian once again.  While at the Rio, he gave my 20 bucks and told me how to play Roulette. He helped me with the inside/outside and all of the rules but he said since I only had 20 bucks to just put whatever the limit was on the inside of the table.  I picked my favorite numbers, one of them being 17 (Have no idea why 17 was one of the numbers, but since then, it always is, in fact to this day, I will play that number)  17 hit, and I won 36 bucks. I was so happy so I put 20 chips to the side, and played the rest and won again. I felt like it was Christmas morning and cashed out, walked away rich.

Eventually we got back to the hotel and he then introduced me to an oyster shooter.  I laughed, since maybe he thought he was going to get lucky.  We chilled out over a few drinks and found the boys.  They were playing at a roulette table where the minimum was like 10 dollars and they had 50 cent chips.  I was in heaven.  We started playing and I started winning.  Eventually some of our party went to their room (Mark and Tony, see what I am saying there?? Something was going on.)  Then Brian hit the sack, which left Steve and I gambling.  I started ordering coffee to drink, because I was on a roll.  For a first timer, I knew what I was doing.  Or wait, I acted like I knew what I was doing.  I would ensure that I was putting half of the winnings to the side, so I wouldn't spend it.  Remember now the limit was ten dollars with 50 cent chips. I wasn't comfortable with playing more than the minimum, so it took about 4 hours for me to make 300 bucks. I was so proud when I cashed out and walked to the room.  When I went in the room, I half expected Brian and Tony to be snuggling in the bed, but Tony was no where to be seen and I had my boy and my bed all to myself.  If was a great evening, even though Brian, the man of my dreams, who brought me to this fabulous place, couldn't even hang with me all night. From that night forward the motto of Brian and I was, there will be no sleeping in Vegas.

When Brian woke up, I didn't say a word but when he hopped into the shower I started flashing the 6 fifty dollar bills in his face.  You have to remember that we were broke, all of our extra money was going into the house, that someday we will own.  So 6 fifty dollar bills was amazing for us.  Since then, when we would go to Vegas we always won.  The only time that we went to Vegas and did not get ahead as when we stayed at some hotel off of the strip that had a Mardi Gras theme.  I don't remember the name of the hotel, but it was close to the Rio, where I won my first 50 dollar bill.

I will never forget our trips to Vegas.  All of them were fun, but this trip was the most memorable, because it was our first.  Vegas was our town and we had it by the balls.

Stay tuned.

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