The Gift

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During this time of year, family comes to realize how important they are to each other. As most of you know, I am adopted and have started researching and looking for any siblings or relatives I have. It’s been nothing but tedious and interesting but it’s all been worth it so far. I feel guilt and apprehension as I continue my search because of feelings and resentments towards my adoptive mothers handling of questions I had growing up. She was the first to tell me I was adopted, but the that was it. I wasn’t allowed to ask questions nor was I able to show curiousity. To this day I still feel as though I am walking on thin ice through this journey. So it has been slow for me. Since my mothers ashes share the same bedroom as I, I really do not want to piss her off. I have enough ghosts haunting me, I do not need another.
Today a light shined on me as I opened a present from my boss. You could even hear the archangels harp as I pulled out a box that I thought was of paints or crayons because of all the similar shades of primary colors. It turned out to be a 23andMe DNA kit. I was floored and speechless, which as many of you know is almost impossible to achieve.

My boss, Debbie, is pushing me to do this. She has the faith and blessing that I will surpass my inner demons and figure out all of the answers to the questions that have been burning through me. I was so appreciative of this gift and it meant more to me than everything else I have received. I am finally really excited and antsy to get this done. I want answers and I am allowed to have questions about who I am. I am allowed to hunt high and low for the answers no matter where it takes me.

I just had to take a minute to jot this down. It’s a day I want to remember. I’m starting to have more and now of those in fact.

My life is happy
Thank you

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