America OnLine

How many of us were around when AOL was a thing?  Who still has an AOL email address?  How many of us remember that first AOL suggested screen name?

I can answer yes to all three questions.

Easy stuff that made us happier than pigs in shit.

When AOL 3.0 came out and we could customize the fonts, and the colors of the fonts, then be able to save them was HUGE!
You could even type in rainbow colors, that you could make dance, or have glittery things!
Script that could include MP3
Remember being able to play music tidbits in a chat room?  You would even have a regular that was in charge of playing the music on the weekends.
The ability to have not 3, but 5 screen names.  You even had screen names for the holidays, FatTurkeyGal, or SantasNaughtyElf and so on.  It was a sort of competition to sere who had the best screen names.  Then it was a game to figure out who was who, trying to get the user to IM you and tell you who they really were.  It was all so much fun???
How exciting was it to get an instant messsage as soon as you signed in from an online friend, sending you to a provate room with all of your online friends so you can chat and hand out all night long.  Sometimes though, it would be boring, since there was no one in the room to make fun of.
Public chat rooms were amazing and bizarre all at the same time.
There were hundreds of chat rooms to choose from.  Ones created by AOL, and the ones that were made by AOL members.
Many were location or hobbie specific.  The AOL rooms, were always clean and of course fun like having a chat room for every large city in America, as well as ones outside of the United States.  You had rooms for car repair, music, hobbies, as well as rooms for BDSM, Foot fetishes, knitting, Lonely wife at home, then military wives, gay sex, animal love, you think it, there was a room for it.
Scary or awesome when an online friend actually lived close by.
Being out at a bar, supposedly having a good time, when all you wanted to do was, go home and get online.  No matter what time you got online there was always someone you knew in the chat rooms you frequented.  I only had 2-3 that I would go to on a daily basis.  When I was at school, I would hit the free computers in the library that had Netcsape.  Wouldn't be able to get into the chat rooms, however there would be access to your friends list when signing into the instant messenger app.  You could see if any of your friends were online and if you were missing any juicy gossip.  If so, was it worth leaving school and going home to get online.  Yes, I know I was addicted.  It was a simple joy though and I still went to work everyday and went running, and went our every friday night with the gals from work.
Actually getting on a plane to meet an online friend and that friend turning into a friend for life.  Some women would go to meet men in different states.  We always thought that those gals were putting themselves in bad situations, however the few that I knew, are still married almost 20 years later. With Facebook we all can keep tabs on each other since the chat rooms have practically disappeared.
Having to get a second phone line because you're always on the internet and no one can get through, this was a few years before everyone owned a cell phone.
How about that first phone bill that charged you for every single time you signed on, before you knew about the unlimited plan.  I still cant believe I would get online that many times in one day. I can say though that many times the connection was lost and you had to sign in again and again.  This made me think of when I would log in for just a moment or two.  I had to be to work at 6:30 in the morning, so I would get up on time and have a few minutes to log on to see if anyone was online.  This was after I spent all night on the computer. I was off of work at 2:30, I would go home, take a nap for an hour or two, go pick up my son from school.  The both of us would eat dinner and do homework together and then he would shower and jammies, in bed by 9pm.  I would then log on the computer from 9:00pm - till about one in the morning, just chatting and having fun. It was perfect for me. I worked full time and went to school full time.  I took public transportation, the money I saved on a car and insurance payment allowed me to raise my son blocks away from the Pacific Ocean.  It was worth it ten times over.  I will never forget living there and would go back in a heartbeat.  Anyways, I really didn't have the time to invest in a relationship or a friendship outside of work or school for that matter.  The Internet allowed me to have friends and people to get to know and talk to.  Of course I couldn't tell my "reallife" friends about my "on line friends"  a lot of people didn't understand the concept and already worried about me. More on that later.
How about when you started talking to a guy, and wanted to find out if they were players, you would make another screen name and just go into the chat room that he is in, remember the messenger tool would tell you what room they were hanging out in.  Unless they were in hiding, that was an option, kind of like hitting do not disturb on your phone.  Only thing about being in hiding was that you couldn't receive instant messages while in hiding.  But yeah, you would follow him into the chat room and start talking to him to see if he tries to hit on you, not knowing that you were you.  Most of the time, once I found out they were players I would just add them to my block list.
What about the guy you spent the entire weekend talking two, about 10 hours a day, he never brings up sex or wanting to sext on the telephone.  Great conversation and then all of a sudden he disappears and you cant find him.  This was the first ghosting ever.
Come to find out the wifey he was married to was gone for the weekend and he had nothing better to do than to toy with your emotional well-being and play with your heart.  The first time it happened you were heart broken for weeks, not wanting to get online, or go into that chatroom where you met him, just in case he is in there.  You didn't want him to know you were trolling and desperate again.
after that happened once or twice you developed a ritual you followed in order for that not to happen again.  Most of the time it was stalking him to find out what rooms and what times of the day he was online.  you would hook up with your friends and stalk each others love interest and see if her responds.
When I turned 30 I was an internet whore, or if I was a guy, I would be an Internet God.  Funny how that works.  I was meeting guys left and right.  I could have a date every single night of the week.  I was having fun going to dinner, eating oysters, playing tennis and going to the movies.  Most of the time I would insist on paying for my own things, but it being my birthday, a lot of them insisted that they pay.  Plus back then things were a lot cheaper. I only remember a handful of dates and why they ended in such pain.  I could just never find the man that I was looking for.  I was looking too.  Maybe I was too focused on making sure that their voice was masculine and handsome, then when meeting them they did not match their face.  Non of them matched their photos, unless they were good photos, you could tell if they had been around the block with chicks online.  The ones who knew the game would have nice photos, scanned in their computer, that they would just hand out like candy.  I remember being in dating rooms that the same photo would be flying around but the dude had like three different screen names  the thirst was real.
I remember a few fellows, that I even gave funny names to.  There was Slobber Boy.  He was really nice, and I even remembered his name.  Bruce.  Bruce was very nice and would take me on romantic dates. I did find him attractive and we had a lot to talk about.  He would pick me up and we would go spend the evening together, finding random places to talk for hours. I loved the beach, and he would always take to to a beach, a different one each week.  I would talk to him for hours, and it was great.  I would try to keep him talking so that we wouldn't have to start kissing.  The kissing was awful.
He slobbered.  A lot.  I can handle a little slobber but there was so much moisture that my lips would chap.  I could see spittle connect our lips when we would break away.  I would even start hugging him afterwards so I could wipe my mouth on his jacket.  It was a mess.  But everything else was pretty much great
His breath did not stink, and he was cute.  He worked and had a car.  He had a son, and was married before.  In fact our sons shared the same birthdays.  We had a lot in common, but as a person who loved kissing and foreplay almost as much as the act of sex, the slobbery kissing had to go.  I went on a few dates with him, thinking I could get over this and I was being a stuck up selfish bitch.

However, I learned more about him a few weeks down the road.  This is what broke the Camels back for me.  Seems trivial to you but for me, it was huge.
One day we planned on inviting my 6 year old son on the trip to a small cute, quaint town in the mountings.  We figured it would be perfect for them to meet and get to know each other.  Well, the morning went well and I was happy that they were getting along, thinking that the next hurdle was meeting his son.  We stopped for lunch.  Bruce bought him and I sandwiches, a bag of chips to share and a drink.  The place was a mom and pop place but not sure how authentic it actually was since the town has been featured in many travel shows.  What made me mad was that he bought my son an ice cream cone.  That was "cool" and all but the child needed to eat.  I was a bit pissy, like don't get me a sandwich and expect me to eat it in front of my son while he licked a cone.  He didn't really care for ice cream, not a fan of cold products.  Of course he didn't want to say anything negative since he knew I was having a good time and he knew that Bruce and I have been dating for awhile and he didn't want to rock the boat.  I wound up getting a sandwich for him myself.  I didn't mind, but the kicker was, that he didn't say a word about what I had done.  He seemed mad.  I'm like oh hell no.  Dude isn't going to regulate my sons eating habits and not allow him to eat healthy food.  After that I paid more attention to his body language when he would do weird quirks.  He never said a word about me buying the food, but he was giving me a look.  Like a look like he was testing me and wanted to knock me out of my shoes.
 I started making excuses of not being able to see him.  Finals were coming up at school anyways, so my time was limited.  Im glad I started distancing myself from him.  One day, randomly, my son told me that Bruce would follow him into the bathroom and would watch him use the restroom and ask him if he needed help.  My son was 6 years old.  He didn't need help.  Alrighty then.  Bye Dude.

So that was Slobber Boy

Next up to Toothless Wonder, the Seventh Sense.



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