Posts
Showing posts from 2013
Is it really Christmas?
- Get link
- Other Apps
This year has been full of ups and downs. None of which I would trade for anything in the world. A relationship ended and another began. Health problems but proactive behavior saved me from myself. I had to say goodbye to a dear friend. A friend whom I cried weeks about and finally was able to really cry over losing my husband. My Daisy left me one October day. I held her as she fell asleep, for the last time, in my arms. She taught me so much and showed me the love I needed and had so much patience for me. I will never have another dog like Daisy. Me being a cat person, I learned that I will not be whole unless I am able to give love to a dog. After spending Thanksgiving at a friends house with her dogs I knew I needed a dog to help heal my heart. A lot of people told me to wait and I had plans to wait at least a year, but going home to an empty house after Thanksgiving I knew what I needed. I then spent every waking hour on Craigslist and searching up dogs and what kind o
is it possible to feel nothing?
- Get link
- Other Apps
Timing is everything I think. Nothing has been in a good place for the past 6 months. I can’t shake myself out of it and I am having a really hard time making sense of it all. I have no idea what I want to do. Things are spiraling out of control and I have no one to talk to. I do not feel happy yet I do not feel sad. I can't stop crying day and night. It comes in dramatic spurts. I have tried everything.
I knew it would take time
- Get link
- Other Apps
I knew it would take time but still I still get teary eyed at my desk when my phone will ring and I get a bit excited inside. I cannot watch family movies that have a death in them. I have tried many times, and I get antsy and wind up with anxiety. I do not look forward to the holidays at all. There was a time last year, where everything was good, and I actually bought Halloween candy, cooked a feast at Thanksgiving and looked forward to putting the Christmas tree up. This year not so much. I am hoping these two little rascals get me out of my mood and into the holiday spirit. Too many things on my plate right now and it is not fair at all. I read things from friends that are going through rough times and I can't even finish reading it. I always think that time will ease all wounds and doing new things will help ease the pain. But it doesn't. Right now, today I want to pack up my car and move to a town that has internet, fast internet at that, snowy roads and f
A Morning with Calvin
- Get link
- Other Apps
Calvin doesn't get enough airtime here. He had a talk with me this morning, in between petting his belliz. Hello World I iz your Supreme Master. Call me Sire Calvinator of Honeckshire. I haz profile fit for a King. I demand food. NOW Iz see my prisoner. I own her. I run to her often for pets You take pictures of my bellies. Rub my belliz. NOW I haz an itch I lick you clean Belly... Now.... I lub my ping pong balls
- Get link
- Other Apps
I was lying in bed last night and as soon as I realized what I realized I sat up. Shocked Flabbergasted Bewildered Saddened I laid back down slowly as I absorbed what I just realized I felt it all the way to my core I had no one to tell all of my secrets to. Sure, I could start talking to Calvin the Cat, but he is so opinionated and selfish that I would be more wishy washy than I already am. I always spoke to Daisy, who would look at me with her eyes, as if to say, “You have got to be kidding me” Calvin just looks at me and says F*ck You!!!
My Daisy, My Hero
- Get link
- Other Apps
If you have a dog, you know what an amazing heart they have. They know when you are sick, sad or in need of some love. They know when you need them and they know when it is okay to leave you, Miss Daisy came into our lives in 2003. She was a rescue dog who was abused in her former home. She was instantly loved by our family, loved and spoiled. We had to go through an extensive interview process and the rescue group had to visit our home and meet the entire family. The very first day we brought her home, Grams (Brian’s Grandmother) named her. It was either Lily or Daisy, because the dog reminded Grams of a ray of sunshine, it was spring, when new things are born and grams loved her flowers. I taught Miss Daisy how to sit, the first few hours we owned her. She wanted to please us terribly, or she just wanted another cookie. She was a smart dog and knew who loved her, or rather knew the hand that fed her. I would like to say, she loved me the most, because I always gave her sn
I would give a lifetime for a moment more
- Get link
- Other Apps
When I first met you, I noticed your eyes. They were blue and intense. When I first talked to you, I noticed your smile. your smile was natural and you had dimples. When I first was kissed by you, I noticed myself melting. When you first held me close, I noticed time standing still. When we married, I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life. When I said I wanted to die a day before you, so I did not have to live without you in my life, I meant it. You kissed me and proceeded to discuss our son or daughters latest antics. Throughout the years I felt very special and we were always close. Yes, we had our times but I would be more worried if we did not argue and yell. Each of us, being hard headed would not let the other person win, regardless of who was right or wrong. I loved the passion that I felt with you. Passion with work, home, family, love, and me, you always had so much to give. I loved the new experiences I had with you. Las Vegas, camping, flying to Buffalo, mov
Did you know??????
- Get link
- Other Apps
Did you know that Lorton, Virginia is named for a village in England? It is the hometown of Joseph Plaskett, who settled in this area running a general store and opened the post office in 1875. Did you know that the Lorton Reformatory detained 168 women from the women’s suffrage movement from the Washington DC area from June to December of 1917? Did you also know that Lorton was where the Nike Missile site was built in 1955? This missile site stayed in Lorton until the 1970’s. A couple more great landmark Plantations on the Potomac in Lorton are the Belvoir Plantation, (means beautiful view) and Gunston Hall homes to Lord George Fairfax and George Mason respectively. The idea of guaranteed individual rights grew in the fertile minds on the river banks of the Lorton area. The American Heritage was cultivated in Lorton and Virginia. On the tip of Mason Neck you can find a few Bald Eagles. Mason Neck NWR was established in 1969 for the protection of nesting, feeding, and roosti
Hurdles that affect everyone
- Get link
- Other Apps
I have them, just like everyone else. I have hurdles that I do not think I can overcome. I need to get back to work. I have taken off more than enough time to do what I need to and now that I played around with teaching and know t is not my cup of tea right now, I need to look at other options. I feel that I have had more jobs in the past year than I have had my entire life. I just cant find my niche. I miss Brian at times like these. He would keep me on the straight an narrow and encourage me to succeed as best as I could. I need that strength again. I appear weak, when I am not. Oh I miss you so much sometimes, it just kills me inside.
Dwindlings
- Get link
- Other Apps
People talk to me about what I have written in the past and they always say nice, encouraging things to me. I enjoy talking with them when I have something of significance to write about. When I am just pulling stuff from my brain to write about, I tend to forget the significance of what my writings will have on other people. I am glad that I have an effect on people, in my close circle as well as from people around the United States. I once received an email from a lady in Oregon who lost their spouse and she was reading my blog and learned my husband died, and related when I talked about mowing the lawn for the first time, how I just sat in the middle of the yard and bawled, yet nothing else brought me to tears. It is sometimes the small things that have the most profound effect on a person. It's almost been two years, and I am at a standstill. I have no energy to do anything. I am going to stay in town and mourn him in my own way. I still have his ashes, the waiting l
Poetry from my son
- Get link
- Other Apps
I watched closely as the shooting star, made me think of how great you are, It goes through the nightsky, And shows me I am one lucky guy, It goes behind the moon and hides, To conceal it's feelings behind closed eyes, The moon begins to fall, Behind the earths large wall The sun shows up and brightens the day, But all the good thoughts go away, It shows the outer beauty of you, But at night you see the inner beauty which is true, I was surprised to know you want me, Because I thought another guy was higher up in the tree, Thinking you would see him before me But it ends up me being your baby, I could never harm a girl as kind, Honest, Loving and always comes to mind, Walking through the woods, Shows me life cannot be this good, But it ends up showing dreams can be true And now we are held together with glue, You make my mind spin by day and turn at night and gives me the thoughts to determine what's right, You have me spinning by a thread, I get dizzy an
I Was THAT Person
- Get link
- Other Apps
Proud of it too... Okay so after Brian died I wanted to go places where no one knew me, no one gave me those funny looks and where I could do whatever I wanted because... well because I could. I went to the Blue Ridge Mountains for a photo trip. The trip was organized by a photographer that I found on Facebook, no I did not troll around on Craigslist. He seems to know what he was doing and I thought this would be the perfect chance to get away and learn something about my camera and meet some new people. I scheduled the trip and each time I spoke with the group leader on the phone he sounded weird. I don't want to label people, but he was an Odd Thomas. I was scared but I also knew I had a safe hotel room and I had my car so I could leave if I needed to... which I did, but more on that later... So I start my long drive to Pigeon Forge, by leaving my house at 5 am. The drive was amazing and since it was light out, I didn't stress out too much about deer. Everyth
Moving Forward
- Get link
- Other Apps
I have been in a haze for the past few weeks that I can only compare to when Brian died. Over the past year I have loved and cared about someone and it ended. It was my first love after Brian and I experienced many firsts with this person. He made me happy when no one else could and he also could make me very mad at a moments notice. Sounds like any other relationship huh? I had a hard time letting go, I was devastated. I almost felt the same as when Brian died. Not as intense but clearly a mile marker for me. I had work to keep me busy and threw myself into it and was never home. I finally broke all ties with him and I am starting to lift myself up with ease. I no longer look at my phone longing someone to call me. I make the calls to the friends that I have. Does it make sense that I don't want this person to leave my life yet I cannot stand to talk to him right now? I do not hate him, that is not the reasoning behind this. I just couldn't get over him. Odd fo
Awake Way Too Late
- Get link
- Other Apps
I have experienced many transititions in life. My son is 20 years old and I no longer view him as someone I need to mold and define the world around him. I lost a partner in life and I am working on trying not to let that define me. I quit my job in order to experience a life full of discoveries which were stagnant since I have had to work every day since I was 15. I am ready to move on and start defining my own life. To start the next phase of my life I am still at a crossroads of what I want to be when I grow up. To teach or not to teach, that is the question. I have so much that I want to pass on to our children and I have a lot of love to give students who crave some sort of adult support. I look at children today and think to myself, if I had 15 minutes with this child what would I say to that child. How would I phrase the future to him in which it would grab his attention and make him start to think of his own future and realize that each decision he makes will affect
10 Things I would tell my 16 yr old self
- Get link
- Other Apps
Things I would tell my 16yr old self 1. That guy with the cool Nissan truck… will be bald and broke in 10 years. 2. Stay after class and talk to Coach Al. 3. Stay away from the frizzy perms. 4. Invent Facebook. 5. No matter how thin you are, no one looks good in white leggings. 6. Don’t burn all of your bridges. 7. Demand braces. 8. Wear sunscreen all of the time. 9. Remember everyone you meet. 10. Do not agree to sell the chocolates!
Once Upon a Time
- Get link
- Other Apps
Once upon a time, there was a little girl. This little girl was not a bad girl, for children are never bad. This little girl wanted to be perfect. She wanted to be a good girl so her mother would stop beating her. The little girl wanted her mother to treat her like a princess, that she would read about in books. The little girls parents were divorced and her father never came to see her. Every weekend the little girl would wait by the steps for her father to come and rescue her from her mother. The father never showed up, and the little girl would cry her eyes out. She was certain that her father did not love her, because the little girl was not perfect. She wanted so much to be perfect. The mother drank a lot and when she went out drinking she would leave the little girl alone. Sometimes the little girl was scared and often she would sneak to watch the television or play alone in her room. Often her mother came home late and when she did, she would wake up the little gir