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Showing posts from 2011

Lordy, it has been awhile

I think of writing often, but then I forget the premise, the reason and the passion that I once had to write daily. Today I noticed the mistakes I have started to make in grammar and in spelling. I NEED to continue to write. I find myself spending more time and effort on the task at hand, rather than throwing the halfway done task out the window. The money spent to fix what I have started is enough to help diminish the feeling of "let's paint the entire house two colors" manicsode. That is what I call them now, manicsodes. I feel that this is a good thing, yet there are still times that I will just break down and zone out. This does not last as long and I am glad. Someone told me recently make sure to take time for me, and do what I want to do. I do miss writing, I miss continuing an education and I miss the moments that come naturally to me. Yes, I do still brush my teeth, thank you very much. This week is filled with holiday smells and people running th

Some say writing is good. I do not know what to say.

They say that it is good to write. It is good to write your feelings especially if one cannot express feelings to another. It helps to open the soul, help to heal, remember the good times, and reflect on the bad. I try to write every day, but most days I delete the things that I write, since I know other’s will read and feel the sadness in my heart. The sadness is one of the only things I have and at times I do not want to share the sadness, I want to keep it inside and countdown until I can go home, lay in bed and let out the sadness so no one can hear. I feel that I must stay strong for the people around me. I want others to see my as strong, that I can take care of myself and that I will survive. They do not need to know the truth of what really is going on in my heart and soul. Sometimes it seems like a battle. Not necessarily of good and evil but of love and guilt. I lay awake at night thinking of everything we had planned to do, how we were going to live and the memories

Get a tattoo or stand in a beehive. You choose!

I started by telling everyone I was going to get a tattoo for my fortieth birthday. Deep down I wanted one but the idea of someone sticking needles in my skin over and over scared the living crap out of me. I had seen many nice designs and wanted something that represented my son and my husband. I finally decided with friends help that it was going to be a bee, like the honey nut cheerios bee. The B would represent the initial of their first name. I remember when my husband and I were dating we finally made the huge step of moving in together, the similarity of their names would confuse us all. After weeks of chaos and the men ignoring me when I would call them, we finally decided to call my son Little B and my husband Big B. When I was mad and ready to yell out my son's name, I would always blurt out the name of my husband, which would make them both wonder who I was really calling and usually upsetting my son, with him saying that I do not remember his name, and my husba
When I first met you, I noticed your eyes. They were blue and intense. When I first talked to you, I noticed your smile. your smile was natural and you had dimples. When I first was kissed by you, I noticed myself melting. When you first held me close, I noticed time standing still. When we married, I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life. When I said I wanted to die a day before you, so I did not have to live without you in my life, I meant it. You kissed me and proceeded to discuss our son or daughters latest antics. Throughout the years I felt very special and we were always close. Yes, we had our times but I would be more worried if we did not argue and yell. Each of us, being hard headed would not let the other person win, regardless of who was right or wrong. I loved the passion that I felt with you. Passion with work, home, family, love, and me, you always had so much to give. I loved the new experiences I had with you. Las Vegas, camping, flying to Buffalo, mov

Attack of the Weedwacker

Brian usually took care of the outside of the house. One of his many nicknames was "Harry Homeowner". Now that I have to do everything, I decided to get some fresh air (anyone feel the humidity lately?) and weedwack the front yard. The last time I was outside walking Daisy, I looked at all of the other yards and they were all in a state of perfection. I looked at my yard, and saw how my entire life felt in a small parcel of grass. It looked devilish and unkempt and in need of a trim. I grabbed the rake and the weedwacker from the shed, once I checked for wasps, bees, and anything else moving faster than I do. I took everything out front, getting a little giddy on the inside since I was going to be playing with a type of power tool. I first had to rake, about 30 minutes I had a large bag of leaves collected and my back already hurt and I was tired. I looked at the weed whacker and wasn't so giddy inside, maybe a little sick to my stomach. I took a break and hydr

Baby Steps

I think I have cooked twice in 3 weeks. I went to the grocery store today. I think I finished cleaning an entire room, the small entry bathroom, without having to stop and move on to something else. I actually bought food at the grocery. I do plan on cooking something. It's 3 in the morning and I am still awake. Baby steps.

I am armed.. with peanut butter

I am out of town right now, staying in Bedford, hanging out with the work team and having a great time. I have been doing a lot at night, while in my jammies in the hotel. I planned on catching up on my reading, which I am... three books down! I also took my scrapbooking with me and have also been getting my cuts and cards done. I love the hotel I am staying at. Always clean, lots of coffee and hot water. And There is a lot of Peanut Butter I love peanut butter They have huge containers of it. They are individual containers that have enough peanut butter for dipping. Dipping apples and celery and crackers. YUM I am so glad I am not allergic to peanut butter.

Adventures at the DMV

As you all know I wait till the last minute to do anything for myself, then expect the world to bend over backwards to ensure that I get what I want when I want it or need it. Well, I found out that the DMV is not part of my world. I do not think that they want to be either. I was making my plane reservations and such for my trip to Anaheim, California and thought to myself, since no one was listening to me, I should rent a car and go to San Diego for a night. Suddenly a dark cold feeling washed over my body, seems that I forgot to renew my driver’s license when it was due. I remember making the time to do it, I just never got there. I check the date just to make sure it was not my imagination and maybe just maybe I renewed it. I Loathe the DMV. PERIOD You have to sit there with other people right next to you. They are coughing or look like they haven’t showered, and I always seem to pick the seat next to said person, or said person sits right next to me when there is an e

Happy Memorial Day

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Have any of you been to a service man/woman's funeral at Arlington Cemetery? The sound of the rifles going off and then the start of Taps, has me in tears regardless of whether I was close to the person or not. Standing on the ground of Arlington Cemetery is very sacred to me. The person who is being buried, gave their life for their country, regardless of whether or not they died in the battle field or of old age. At one time they made the decision that their life was worth the freedom that America needed and strives for on a daily basis. Have any of you been to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and paid your respects? Have you stayed and watched each step the solider in full dress uniform takes, with precision and confidence? Have you wondered how that same solider does it, in the heat of today for instance, or in the snow storms that we had 2 years ago? Do you think that he questions the decisions that he made when he decided to become part of the Old Guard? Do you wonder if you

what I did last night

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Bee happy [Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Manic Mondays

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I was already thinking of everything that I needed to do today, last night! That made for a long restless night. I have been so busy at work and by the time I get home I am ready to collapse in a heap on the floor with the dog licking me like a dead carcass. You think I am joking? I am also in my last week of school so things are pretty hectic. I have a great post I have been working on, but it is not ready for public... or I am not ready for the public to read it! In the meantime I will leave you with this... Be thankful for the weather today...

My Best Friends Mom

I enjoyed your friendship I laughed at your jokes I humored your honestly Even if I did not agree with you I saw how strong you could be I saw you move heaven and earth I thought of your daughter in the same light I thought of your daughter, who is my best friend and smiled, since she can be just like you at times I was there when the phone rang, and I was there when she cried I wanted to make the pain go away, but again I knew you had no pain It was a fair trade off, one she will take again and again She knew you were tired and wanted to sleep She wanted to help you and give her strength I’m sorry it was not enough, but I am glad you are at peace I will be her strength and ensure she rocks! I will be there I promise I held your daughter strong and gave her my strength It was all I could give and I wanted her to have it I don’t think she was ready for this mom but, you raised a good daughter, and she will be okay Your daughter was always my rock Through thick

A Ten Year Tale

Last week my husband and I celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary. The day did not start off as well as I had hoped, with all of the household drama occurring, it was hard to concentrate on our special day. I got home from work, and hubby told me to get dressed and we were off in about 10 minutes. We drove into D.C., and I started wondering if he was taking me to a hotdog vendor. While we were driving around the streets making sure we did not turn on the wrong way street, we were in front of the Willard hotel and some dude started pounding on my car window. I freaked out! We were going to be shot in broad daylight! I rolled down my window when I noticed that the eye candy young man in a suit was talking. He told us that there was a motor pool coming and we just had to move right then and there to get out of his way. Well, we did move, and when the motorcade came, I didn’t recognize anyone who came out of the car. Seriously? What are our taxes paying for?? We parked and went

Motherhood is happyness??

I read this post over at AlphaMom. Chris then challenged all that read to go and blog about what is making them happy right now about motherhood. This is hard. If she knew what was going on in this household, she would say maybe tomorrow. But as I read her story and I agreed on many points one being, "I am not my child's friend. I am their parent" I feel the same way. You can laugh and have a great time with your kids, but there comes a line that they know that separates the parent from their friends and they respect this line. Anyways, so on to my happiness feeling. My son moved out last week because he did not feel that he had to follow my rules.  Since he was 18 and a senior in high school he felt that he did not have to listen and suffer the consequences for breaking the rules, like keeping the grades up, and being home by curfew. I was very sad and I thought my world was coming to an end.  I cried for days, wanting my child back.  Finally I woke up and re

this is a twitter test

Calvin the Cat

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This is Calvin. He is my cat. He thinks he is a dog. My Daisy Dog, taught Calvin how to growl. When someone knocks at the door, Calvin will run to the door. He is no frady cat. He sleeps on my pillow every night. He is very affectionate and will only eat one type of cat food. Friskies, Seafood Sensations. He says it is better than Red Lobster... I love him more than a mouse loves cheese. Why is it animals will love you forever and never leave?

Test

Sent from my iPhone

Sloppy joe turnovers

Super easy and yummmie! 1 pound ground beef or turkey 1/4 cup chopped onion 1/2 cup ketchup 1/4 cup sour cream 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp garlic powder the flaky refrigerator biscuits butter, melted 2 tbs cook the ground beef/turkey, with onion. Brown and drain, return to pan. Stir in ketchup, sour cream salt and garlic power. preheat over to 375 roll out the biscuits into a 4 inch square. arrange the biscuit on a baking sheet (ungreased). Spoon 1/4 cup of mixture in the center of each square. Fold over the corner of each square to form a triangle. Seal the edges with a fork and cut three 1/2 inch slits on the top of each turnover Bake until golden brown 15-20 minutes and bruch with melted butter.

New recipe

I'm trying to tone down the servings that I make in this house. It seems that everyone is on a diet. I try, seriously I try. There is one problem, I love to cook and bake and of course I love to eat. I have been trying a few new foods in the house. Have you noticed the price of tomato's? And they are horrible. The worst tomato's so far have been from Bloom. Very sad. Okay where was I? I have this box filled with old recipes. Don't you love finding those types of things at yard sales, or garage sales? I love it. Of course this box came from a yard sale, not past down from generation and if you knew where I grew up you would totally understand. Oh lordy, I forgot to tell you, most overpowering marinade out there, Lawry's lemon pepper marinade. OMG the chicken was delicious but the smell was in my house till the next day, and after a while the smell annoyed my more than a paint smell. No more of that. I have to tell you a story before I forget. I

Cricut Inventory

1. Just Because Cards 2. Destinations 3. Pooh font 4. Mickey and Friends 5. Speaking of Fall 6. Walk in my Garden 7. Songbird 8. Forever Young 9. Thanksgiving 10. Sweet Treats 11. 50 States 12. Winter Wonderland 13. Calligraphy Collection 14. Plantin Schoolbook 15. April Showers 16.Give a Hoot 17. From my Kitchen 18. Tie the Knot 19. Stamping 20. George and Basic Shapes 21. Speaking of Winter 22. Animal Kingdom 23. Sentimentals 24. Home Accents 25. Inde Art

Blunt and honest

I haven’t been me for the past few days. I have been shocked, rocked and everything in between. I have always loved being a mother and also have believed in a deeper being. Now is when I need that perspective to keep going, and alive. My son has his own agenda. He is 18 and a senior and seems to think that he knows all of the answers, his life has been horrible and nothing can make him come back to the house. My son moved out, and left nothing but chaos in his path I was hurt beyond words and haven’t slept much lately. I lay there thinking of what he says, wondering if he is right. I lay there thinking about my childhood and how horrible it was, how scary it was, how I was running away when I was ten years old because I was so scared. I learned from my experiences and wanted to ensure when I had children, I was not the same mother. I turned out to be a pretty good mother. Yes, I had made mistakes along the way, but as we both grew I learned so much about myself. I was

My Crazy Weekend

What happens at Crops Plus stays at Crops Plus. The best scrap booking weekend I have ever had.  I scrapped, laughed, blew diet coke out of my nose, met new friends, criticized (yes me) and had a freaking time of my life.  If you scrapbook I highly recommend this group for your scrapbooking get away.  The size of the tables were HUGE Lots of electrical outlets, and if you brought what they told you to bring, you were set for life.  The music was the perfect level, not to interfer if you were talking or listening to your own music with headphones of course.  The giveaways were great! HUGE!  Astronomical!!! Well worth the effort. They had games, and stuff, but did not interfer on your scrapbooking.  They had the best classes with great instructors.  Stamp classes, photography classes, and album classes. The classes were worth the amount spent. The food provided by the hotel was good.  I am usually a complainer when it comes to food.  I WASN"T even hungry and I would go e

Washing Machine Blues

So, I am sitting here... Waiting. I have a 2 hour window where the repair man will show up, sprinkle fairy dust on my washer and the it will no longer sound like the space shuttle taking off.  1 hour has already passed. We went out and bought the washer a few days ago after going to several different stores shopping for the best deal.  Five stores later we scored.   The washing machine did not have all of those fancy whistles.  We just want to have the option to throw clothes in, pick the temp of the water, load size, and length of wash.  I do not want to be able to adjust the half way cycle of the spins temperature in accentuate the flow of the water leaving the bin.  Not my cup of tea. The deal also included free delivery and pick up of old machine.  We scored. 3 days later I am sitting waiting for the repair people to show up and fix the machine.  They came They saw and They kicked ass Wanna know what the problem was??? The shipping rod was never removed from

What Would You Do?

20/20 has this show, called "What Would You Do?". They have several scenario's about tense situations with actors initiating a tense conversation. This week they had a boy wanting to buy a Barbie doll, a boy wearing a dress in a toy store, a large person ordering unhealthy foods while the waiter tells her what she needs to order, and lastly a woman at the grocery store whose food stamp card ran out of money and if there was any compassion in the line of people behind her. Each of the women was of a different ethnic background and one of them did not speak English. There was also another actor who tried to talk the person who went to pay, out of doing it, stating that they are not helping the person, so on and so forth. This scenario made me cry when a young lady who was on the phone, took it upon herself to go forward and pay for the non-English speaking woman, whose benefits ran out and could not buy the food. This really hit home. There were many times as a y

We are woman!

This weekend I was able to be a part of something so special, I was left speachless for awhile. Granted I could not be speachless for too long, since I needed to speak. It was amazing. When you leave your home chapter and you go to visit other women and learn about their chapters and how they do things, what obstacles that they also encounter, makes the world seem not so large. I met many women that I have never met before and created a few friendships that I hope withstand the distance. There were women of many ages, with so many memories and stories to tell to those who wanted to take a few minutes and listen. I was able to take one night, and relax after I memorized my speech and go to the lobby. While I was only there to grab a diet pepsi from the cocierge, I noticed a few older ladies sitting near the fireplace chatting away. I decided to sit next to them and introduce myself. They were amazing ladies who I am sure had just as much fun in the chapter as I do now. They had

Chicken tenderloins with Lawry's Lemon Pepper

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This was a great meal... I pounded the chicken tenderloins and then placed them in a ziploc bag with the Lawry's Lemon Pepper marinade.  The next day, I took them out and cooked them on top of the stove, no butter or oil.  I added more of the marinade while they were cooking.  I also made some rice in the handy dandy rice cooker.  Very juicy and flavorful.  I put the rice the the chicken on top with a little of the marinade from the pan on top of everything.  Next time I will grill the chicken.  The smell of the lemon pepper perminated the entire house all night long.  I woke up at 2 in the morning, smelling the lemon. 

Hello out there

Yes, I am still alive. No you cannot have my lifetime supply of cheesecake and diet coke.  I had to diet in preparation of Big Man's graduation, so I gave up the Vodka and kept the cheesecake. I have been thinking on how to improve my blog, adding topics of the week to it, or giving away chocolate. Since I would eat the chocolate before I would mail it, I decided on the topics of the week.  This would give me some incentive to actually provide some depth to this blog, so maybe smarter people would read and know where.. THE FOLLOW BUTTON IS... hello people if you are not following please do so.  You might miss something... Like me! I was thinking, and not necessarily in this order: movie review, cooking review... picture day... snarky day and then a free for all... I have been watching some movies through Netflix, ones that I would not have watched without a recommendation from a friend. I found the movies a tad bit out there, or appealing and I would like to share thos

That's all

Why is it when I want to blog I have a cat up on my face???? I just want to say how wonderful this year has been with the exception of pending oral surgery and a gum graph..... I have a feeling my diet is going to go real well soon!!!! [Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

I'm not going to lie

Only two days going to the gym, I'm not going to lie, I am sore as hell. I'm not going to lie, it is killing me to then come home, clean, cook, wash, and get ready for the next day.  Today it wasn't so bad, got off regular time home in an hour, immediately to the gym there were two treadmills open so we hopped on those.  I did a mile and a half in 20 minutes.  Yea slow I know but I am off my butt and exercising.  The gym wasn't as crowded as it has been during the new year.  I am also glad that I am not the biggest one there.  When I would go during the summer I would be the biggest one there and that was very discouraging so I would just walk around the block and call it a day. I am doing the three day walk this year and will be in shape.  I have a lot of goals to meet this year and I plan on making each and every one of them.  I am getting all of my pictures from online and sending them to be printed.  The process of moving hundreds of photos is a mess.  I am mo

1-1-11

I have started this post three times, I want to post today so that I have something for 1-1-11.  I am a true geek. I am still in my jammies. Just in case you are wondering. I did take a shower and go out today, but came home and put clean freah smelling good jammies on... Dont be jealous. You can do it too. I did ALL of the running around I needed to do yesterday so the entire weekend I can veg out in front of the television playing online games until my eyes bug out.  Isn't that everyone's goal this weekend? New Years was very quiet and nice.  Major drawback was celebrating the new year with a hot flash.  So while everyone was dancing and drinking the night away, I was trying to figure out how to get the sweat out of my bra and how to redo my makeup.  I wanted to go sit in the walk in for awhile, but was afraid they would forget about me and lock me in the moose LOL.